Yesterday was a hard day for me...Kaz had to travel to Asheville for work, so it was just me and Miley...Originally, I had planned Wed to be a "fun day, or me day." Since the weekends are full of wedding stuff, I've been trying to have just a "me day" during the week BUT this one didn't turn out as planned. It started out great...I slept til 9, woke up and watched tv, went grocery shopping, and then met my friend Blythe for lunch at subway. Kaz and I have been waiting for the last 2 weeks on a letter from the birthmother that she wrote us...In my mind, I have kept that area open knowing that the letter would finally be closure...maybe some unanswered questions would be answered...I found out after lunch that the chances of actually getting that letter are very slim. I became frustrated with the whole situation...frustrated that our situation has become so complicated...frustrated that we are still waiting....just frustrated. It was an interesting time to get the phone call because I was doing my bible study at that exact moment on finding satisfaction in Christ. Instead of trying to pray about things, I immediately called Kaz and just kind of gave up...I wanted to run away...go somewhere that I could be alone...get away from life.
I NEVER imagined "waiting" would be so hard. I went about my day and continued doing the things I wanted...and then I sat for awhile...in the quiet and reflected on the Lord's faithfulness in my life.
He HAS been faithful to me
He HAS provided for us
He HAS blessed us
DESPITE my sin
DESPITE my ugly heart
DESPITE my unfaithfulness
I want to be a person who is thankful for what HE has done AND IS DOING, instead of complaining about what HE HASN'T done. BECAUSE if I know anything...it's HE IS WORKING RIGHT NOW...HE HAS BEEN FAITHFUL..
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."—Isaiah 61:3.