back after a long time...

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged...I actually sat down several months ago and wrote a "good-bye" post thinking it was my last time writing...but thankfully Kaz encouraged me not to post it. Over the last few weeks, the Lord has been giving me little "signs" of encouragement to start writing again. I've missed it. He confirmed it last Monday. I went down to Charleston for a few days for some bridal sessions. My 1st session wasn't until Monday afternoon, so I had several things I wanted to do that morning, one being running the Ravenel Bridge. This bridge is very special to me...After our first failed adoption, I started running the bridge every single day. It took me 35-40 minutes to get there, and 35-40 minutes to drive back home, but that didn't matter. It was my "special and favorite" place to talk to God. I prayed for our child more times than I can count on that bridge. The bridge always reminds me of a hard time in my life, but it also reminds me of God's faithfulness to me and our family. 

So last Monday, I was so excited to run the bridge again. I constantly kept checking the weather, hoping it would be sunny. I drove to Mt. Pleasant, parked, got out my car, stretched, and in my mind, I was going to conquer the bridge...but the Lord had other plans. I started running the "up hill" part of the bridge and felt great maybe the first .3 miles, then the wind came. It was so strong it pushed me back and literally made me stumble several times. I kept going and then the rain started...it poured. I kept going and could barely keep my eyes open. It was miserable, so I turned around halfway up and ran back down. The whole time I kept thinking of how I quit. So at the bottom, I turned back around and ran up for the 2nd time. It was no different. MISERABLE. Pouring rain, strong winds, and a lot of strange looks from other people coming back down the bridge. I'm sure they were thinking, "Why in the world is this crazy going the opposite direction of this monsoon." BUT I kept going. I couldn't run uphill the whole time...the wind was too strong. I walked at times, barely moving, but after awhile I reached the top. When I finally got to the top, I turned around and started down hill. It wasn't easy, but got easier the farther down I got. By the end, I was in a full sprint. I had different plans for that run...I thought it would be fun and relaxing, but the Lord used it to remind me of the storms in life. It's not always easy. We aren't promised an easy life...but when the wind and rain come and almost knocks us down, He IS faithful. When it's hard to keep our eyes open or focused on Him, what He wants and requires is that we keep moving towards Him one step at a time. And when the storm passes, our view looking back is a beautiful reflection of His FAITHFULNESS. 

The Lord encouaged me so much on that run, and it is definitely the most memoriable I've ever had. He not only used it to show me truth, He used it to encourage me to write again...

I'm thankful for each of you who have followed our journey over the years, and who have encouraged us so much! The girls are growing up so fast...faster than I would like. AND we started the adoption process again last year, and have been on the waiting list since October 2014. So we are excited to see what the Lord has in store for our family:)

my most important role as a mom....

Being a mom, has been one of the most wonderful blessings the Lord has ever given me. I love my girls more than I could ever express. Sure, I have my moments of frustration over disobedience, melt downs, etc but being a mom brings so much JOY to my life. In our struggle to start a family, I never really thought much about the day to day life as a mom....I wanted a child. I wanted a family. I knew how we would raise our children, but I never gave much thought to the day to day living until I became a mom. I think any parent wants their child to be “smart”. As a parents of little ones, most moms teach their kids the ABCs, colors, shapes, etc...It’s easy to get caught up in if my child is “educationally” where she should be. We fill their minds with books and games, and shows that they love but also that helps teach them. We teach them about animals, the sun, moon, trees, etc. I’ve done the same thing. Annie Rice loves to learn and we spend time each day working on these “education milestones” to ensure she learns them....but lately, I’ve been realizing that there’s something so much more important that I want to tell her about everyday. As a mom, wife, and woman the most important thing in my life is my relationship with Jesus Christ. I’m not perfect and I mess up and make mistakes everyday. There are days my time in the word is so good, I wish I had more time...then there are other days where I have 2-3 minutes...then unfortunately, there are days where my time in the word gets pushed off, BUT I’m thankful that no matter how much time I spend in the word each day, the Holy Spirit is there to guide me throughout the day in prayer, christian music, and how he even works in my life through these little miracles called children. Yesterday, I was reminded of sometime so simple, yet something I forget so often....

We were walking down the isle in Wal-Mart. Annie Rice and Maggie were both in the buggy, while I was looking in the craft section. I was in deep thought trying to find what I needed, when Annie Rice yelled, “Look mommy, there’s a cross.” Normally, I probably would have said, “you’re right, that is a cross” and started back searching for what I needed...but hearing her voice, her excitement, I simply couldn’t stop there. I looked into her big blue eyes, and said Annie Rice, “what does the cross mean?” She said, “It means Jesus died for me and I will never be sad again.” Again, I could have stopped there but I couldn’t...I said, “Annie Rice that’s right. Jesus died on the cross for you, me, Maggie, and everyone you see because He loves us so much”...I continued to tell her how when we disobey or have little attitudes, those are times that make God sad because we are sinning. And the reason Jesus died, was because of our sin. She looked up at me giggling saying, “Mommy, Jesus loves me SO MUCH.” I said, “He sure does sweet girl. He sure does.” Annie Rice is 3. She knows the ABC’s, her colors, the spelling of her name, etc. She can learn anything someone teaches her...I strive everyday to teach her the things she needs to know..but I was reminded yesterday in that 5 minutes conversation that the most important thing I need to share with her on a daily basis is the gospel story. I am CALLED to do this. It’s not her sunday school teachers responsibility, or her VBS worker, or anyone else. It’s my job to teach her about Jesus. Not just the bible stories we read at night, or the children’s songs that we sing about Jesus..It’s our responsibility as parents to teach them the GOSPEL on a daily basis. In every way we possibly can. I’m thankful that the Lord promoted my heart to not just pass that moment by because so easily I get caught up in what I’m doing in the moment, that I miss or just hear “the words” she is saying, without truly listening. PARENTS, MOMS...LISTEN to your kids. Look for opportunities to share the message of the cross on a daily basis. It’s not just a one time conversation. It should be a daily conversation in our home, in some shape or form. Not only do her little hears need to hear this, but my big ears need to be reminded of this simple truth EVERYDAY. 

Acts 1:8

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. 

amazing grace...

I will cherish this video for a long time! Such a sweet sound...

some BIG changes for our family...

You may remember this post from last week...It was a post about how much I was struggling waiting to hear from the Lord. Well, we heard...and have some big news to share. Some very exciting news, and some bittersweet news..

These last 2 1/2 years, the Lord has been working in ways I can’t even begin to explain or understand. He has blessed me with more than I could have ever imagined. Last year specifically, the Lord did some really big things that we are just now starting to understand...

Around April of last year, the Lord really laid adoption on our hearts again. We started the process with Bethany. Around that time, we also started looking at houses and we found a house in Summerville, in our dream neighborhood for this area, and made an offer. We prayed that if it wasn’t the Lord’s will, He would shut the door and about a month into He did. We couldn’t understand why at the time..Everything “seemed” perfect BUT a few months down the road when miss Maggie came along, we started seeing that He had better plans for us than just a house. Towards the end of last year, Kaz’s dreaming and planning of starting His own company came to a hault as well. This was something he’s wanted for as long as I can remember...Last year, he prayed and planned for a business. Around November, we both no longer felt a peace from the Lord on it. It was disheartening for Kaz and for me. He had planned for so long...prayed for so long, and then the Lord took that away. Another really weird thing that happened last year, was with my photography business. I’ve always said that I would do photography as long as the Lord allowed me too. Having kids, has changed how much I want to work, but I really enjoy photography. I enjoy my work. In years past, I’ve been overwhelmed at the amount of weddings that I’ve booked. It seemed like last year, the Lord wasn’t allowing me to get inquiries about weddings, and the ones that I was getting were for the exact same dates that I was already booked. I didn’t worry about this because in my mind I thought this was the Lord’s way of telling me He didn’t want me to work as much...but going into 2013, I had about 8 weddings booked, compared to 35 in 2012. We kept pushing along and praying for the Lord’s will, and what happened next was honestly something neither one of us ever thought as a possibility. The Lord opened an unexpected door...A door that is starting to make sense of everything that has happened in the last year. In January, the Lord opened a door for a job in Hartsville SC[my hometown]. From the day Kaz applied, until he found out, it was exactly a month. A month full of prayers, fears, excitement. I’ve never thought moving back home was a possibility and my biggest fear when he applied was him not getting it, because I was so excited about the possibility. The Lord has been working out things this past month that I can’t even begin to describe...BUT Kaz got the job. He will be working for Duke Energy[formerly Progess Energy]. Originally, we thought the job wouldn’t start until May/June, BUT he will be starting in 3 weeks. I’m so extremely proud of him. 

This new chapter in our life brings so much joy and excitement, but also sadness. We have made so many wonderful friends in Charleston. Over this last year, I have become such good friends with 2 special ladies[Jennifer and Marie-picture posted below]. We have become the kind of friends that no topic is off limits, we can show up at each others house at anytime, uninvited. Every week, we watch each other kids to run errands, appointments, etc. It’s become a special friendship, not only for us, but for our kids. I’m sad for Annie Rice in that. I know she will make new friends, but she talks about Brynn, Gaines, and Walt everyday, and she sees them several times a week. Brynn has become her BFF...their giggles of excitement for one another makes my heart so happy.  That’s the part that makes me the most sad...is her missing out on those special friendships. I know she make new friends, and we will still see our old friends, but they will greatly be missed. I think I have cried about this everyday..and when I start, it’s hard to stop. We have been blessed with some special friends. 

With my photography business, I now realize the reason I didn’t book nearly as many weddings...Because we will be 3 hours away and the Lord knew I couldn’t drive to Charleston every weekend for weddings! The really neat part is over this last month, I’ve been contacted for so many weddings in Hartsville. More than I ever have in the last  4 years I’ve been doing photography. It’s been pretty neat, and the Lord is working it all out for His Glory. My clients in Charleston have been unbelievable supporters to me. I couldn’t have started my business and grown it so much without the support of everyone and the Lord. I have had the best clients. With this move, I will no longer be working “full time” in Charleston. I will still do weddings in Charleston from occasion to occasion, but for the most part, my business will be in Hartsville/Florence. 

This is a really big change for our family. I’m excited and scared at the same time. So many details have to be worked out considering we are moving in less than 3 weeks, but I know the Lord is already working away. What He’s done in the last month, has been more than I could have ever imagined, and I’m excited for the journey ahead. 

[Jennifer and Marie]

 Annie Rice and Brynn

issues of the heart...

A lot has been going on in our life lately...The Lord has been doing some really big things and we have been in a season of waiting and praying... 

When we started this process, we knew that a lot of prayer needed to go into this. We felt the Lord calling us to give up soda, as a way of fasting and praying. I’m not going to lie, it was very hard at first because I’m a coke zero junkie. Some people carry around bottles of water...in my bottle, there’s always coke zero. We made the commitment to drink no soda[with 1 date exception] UNTIL we heard on this matter. Last Monday, we were in week 3. I’d been doing good with the no soda, but you know after awhile, it’s easy to NOT DO SOMETHING and FORGET why you are doing it...So let me tell you a little about last week for me... 

Let me just say one thing before I start...When I have fasted in the past, I never talked about it. I think that it’s a private thing between oneself and the Lord...but this time has been different because I really believe the Lord has called me to “share” what I have been LEARNING through this time of fasting. I’m sharing not to bring any glory to myself, BUT I’m sharing because I truly believe this is a life lesson that HE has been teaching me. 

Last Sunday... 

Kaz and Annie Rice went to church, while I stayed home with Maggie[she had a really bad cold]. While they were at church, I did my bible study at home. I really felt convicted about giving up facebook, instagram, and pinterest for awhile. That’s a really BIG thing for me. I’M ALWAYS, always on my phone. Checking facebook throughout the day, posting instagram pictures, and looking at pinterest when I’m sitting at home, or riding in the car. Before going to bed, I lay awake scrolling down the phone...If I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I will usually look at it, and in the morning too. It’s been pretty sad, but it’s continuously grown as a habit, one could say. OR it could be that these things have become “functional Gods” in my life. In biblical terms a functional God is something other than God that we set out heart on (Luke 12:29; 11 Cor. 10:9), that motivates us (1 Cor. 4:5), that masters and rules us (Ps. 119:133; Eph 5:5), or that we trust, fear, or serve (Isa. 42:17; Matt 6:24; Luke 12:4-5)... When Kaz got home, I told him what the Lord had revealed, and He committed to giving facebook and instagram up as well. I knew this would be hard... 

On Monday morning, I was having my bible study time and the Lord revealed ANOTHER thing He wanted me to give up...TV. My first thought was really, why must I give up TV too? Let me give you a little background information...Towards the beginning of last year, the Lord really convicted me of my TV shows and music that I listen too. He laid such heavy convictions on my heart about this last year, that I cut our cable package down A LOT to include the tv channels that I watched pretty much everything on[mostly reality..BRAVO especially]. So in my mind last Monday morning, I thought, why in the world would I need to give up TV. I’ve already given so much of it up. I don’t watch that many shows..I watch or record maybe 6-7 shows a week. In my mind, that’s good compared to the 20 I used too! BUT the Lord kept working and I kept fighting. I told Kaz that I would do this BUT AFTER I watched the season premiere of Dallas last Monday night. I would not miss it..how selfish? 

So all of last week, I gave up TV...Well, until Thursday. I last 2 days. I got so mad at the Lord on Thursday, BECAUSE I was tired of waiting. Is that not the silliest thing you have ever heard? Because I got mad, and wanted this to be in MY timing, I got mad and had an attitude. I let it slowly effect the next couple days and by yesterday, I was not only watching TV, but checking facebook, and drinking soda. I HAD FORGOTTEN JUST HOW MUCH THE LORD HAD DONE, AND WHY HE WAS CALLING ME TO GIVE UP THESE THINGS...Yes, it may not be “normal” to the world, BUT He doesn’t call me to be normal in the eyes of the world, He calls me to be obedient. Instead of being obedient, I went running back to those things that provide a false sense of comfort. This morning in my bible study, all of these convictions hit me at once. How selfish I am and just how sinful my heart really is...In the end, it’s not about how long I wait, what I give up, or how I succeed and fail at it...It’s about the work that HE is doing in and through me during this waiting time and whether or not I choose to use that time I had in the past spent on facebook/TV on just some “other thing” , or IF I use it to glorify Him. I don’t know WHY I haven’t learned this lesson yet, BUT it’s NOT ABOUT the THING I’m waiting on...It’s about the things that HE is doing through the waiting. He’s not asking me to give up all of these things as punishment, it’s just the opposite. I know and have to constantly remind myself, that He’s doing a work through these things that is far greater than I could ever ask or imagine..He’s working out incredible blessings for my life. The path may be squiggly..I may “forget again” and run to other things, but I’m thankful that my God is a God who forgives, correct, and reminds....AND LOVES NO MATTER WHAT. His love never fails...He never gives up on me. 

Psalm 130: 5-6 

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word, I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

child like faith...

It’s been so neat seeing Annie Rice really want to learn about God and pray. She literally wants to read her bible all the time[The Jesus Storybook Bible is awesome], and she prays before every meal and before naptime and bedtime. I can’t help but laugh though at some of her prayers...I know they are so sincere and coming from a sweet little girl, but some of the stuff she prays for, I just can’t help but wonder where she gets it from. BUT I love hearing her pray, and we’ve had to remind ourselves we will never discourage her from reading the bible, no matter how many times she ask us in a day to read it to her[I counted 1 day and she asked almost 30 times:)]. Sometimes, I will walk in her room and she’s sitting on the bed, reading it. Such a sweet thing to see. AND most days, she makes Minnie Mouse, Bear, Goofy, baby, and her by[blanket] get on their knees and pray too! Here have been a few of her prayers lately...

“Thank you God for lunch, thank you God for chicken and fries, watching dickey mouse, Gaines and Brynn, reading bible, seeing mommy, gym, Amen.”

“Thank you God for cereal, the wise men, the shepherd, joseph, baby Jesus, and Mary too, Amen.”

“Thank you God for daddy, for o my soul, shepherd boy, neck, Annie Rice’s neck, Mommy’s neck, Maggie’s neck, and car’s neck, Amen.”

“Thank you God for cars, for Maggie’s neck, phone’s neck, Annie Rice’s neck, thank you God for God is able, for shepherd, umm what’s next, thank you God for miss jill, joey, the angel, the king, the shepherd boy, the shepherd, thank you God for baby’s neck, Amen. “

“Thank you God for trash, for outside trash, for stinky diaper, for phew whee, ummm what’s next, Amen.”

“Thank you God for chicken and fries, milk, chocolate chip milk, 12345678910, ummm what’s next, thank you God for one, thank you God for two, thank you God for three, Amen.”

Come to think of it, my prayers should really be more like this...So many times I forget to THANK GOD for the small things and not just the big things. Child like faith...

I'm drinking from my saucer...

I heard a song last night that is so true about my life. I really don't need to explain anymore..The song lyrics speak for themselves...

I've Never Made A Fortune

and It's Probably Too Late Now

but I Don't Worry About That Much

i'm Happy Anyhow

and As I Go Along Life's Journey

i'm Reaping Better Than I Sow

i'm Drinking From My Saucer

'cause My Cup Has Overflowed

haven't Got A Lot Of Riches

and Sometimes The Going's Tough

but I've Got Loving Ones Around Me

and That Makes Me Rich Enough

i Thank God For His Blessings

and The Mercies He's Bestowed

i'm Drinking From My Saucer

'cause My Cup Has Overflowed

o, Remember Times When Things

went Wrong

my Faith Wore Somewhat Thin

but All At Once The Dark Clouds Broke

and Sun Peeped Through Again

so Lord, Help Me Not To Gripe

about The Tough Rows That I've Hoed

i'm Drinking From My Saucer

"cause My Cup Has Overflowed

if God Gives Me Strength And Courage

when The Way Grows Steep And Rough

i'll Not Ask For Other Blessings

i'm Already Blessed Enough

and May I Never Be Too Busy

to Help Others Bear Their Loads

then I'll Keep Drinking From My Saucer

"cause My Cup Has Overflowed!"

my cup is overflowing

 You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Psalm 23:5

Today was Maggie Ruth’s court date. She is our Christmas miracle. She is officially[by the state of SC] a Prikazsky! Everything went so smooth. Annie Rice of course hammed it up with the judge. Before we left the house, we told her we were going to see the judge. As we were walking in the door at the court house, the first lady she saw, she said “hey judge”. We explained to her where the judge was, and we finally saw the judge, she said “hey judge. Order in the court”. The judge couldn’t stop smiling. During the hearing, Annie Rice kept saying “Ho Ho Ho, Judge”. She talked non-stop. After the hearing, she got to sit with the judge and everyone in that room couldn’t stop smiling. I am so blessed by my 2 girls. Maggie Ruth is a miracle and we are so blessed to have her as our daughter! We had a celebration lunch at Chick-fila:)

My cup is overflowing..

it’s comical...

Do you ever have days that go so bad, you can’t help but laugh? That’s how I feel right now...I can’t help but laugh but also wonder what else might happen...

Last week, I had planned on blogging regularly again. If I told you everything that has gone on in these last few weeks, I don’t even know that you would believe it, but to make a long story short, things have been crazy! I have been looking forward to this week for a long time now...1) Because on Friday[hopefully] Kaz and I are going to NYC for a few days to celebrate my 30th birthday and I’ve always wanted to go at Christmas. 2) Maggie’s court date is tomorrow. I’ve been so excited for this week and looking forward to it. 

Last Friday, we had some of our good friends over to make Christmas trees for the kids. It was such a FUN morning. On Saturday, we picked Kaz up from the airport after being in Colorado for a week with work, and then came back home to get the girls ready for their babysitter. Saturday was my last night of being in my 20s, so Kaz and I went out for mexican and saw a movie. It was such a FUN night and some much needed time with each other that wasn’t rushed. I had been dreading Sunday, not really because it was my birthday but just because of the idea that I would no longer be in my 20s. The morning started out great..We all got ready and headed out the door to church. Annie Rice had been acting a little different...when I woke her up she had a really bad diaper and what looked like marshmallows in her hair. I didn’t think anything about it because she had been with the sitter the night before, and I knew she had been sneaky in getting treats, so I just thought she hid some marshmallows and ate them in her bed. She didn’t want to eat anything for breakfast, but again, nothing out of the ordinary except she loves breakfast but is also a picky eater. We made it to church and headed to Sunday School. I was so excited to hear Kaz speak on his trip to Asia in our sunday school class....

Then Annie’s teacher came in and told me that she had thrown up and was very upset. I went to get her and came home with both girls while Kaz stayed at church. Throw up wasn’t exactly what I had planned for my birthday but it was okay because all Annie Rice wanted to do was snuggle with me. We had plans on Sunday night to go see some Christmas lights with my bible study girls and there families, but since Annie Rice was sick[and the other kids-they had the stomach bug too] we decided to cancel those plans. We still had to pick up Kaz’s car from the airport because he rode back with us the day before, and we had decided we could pick up his car on the way back from seeing the lights...My friend Jennifer was out in town, so I asked her if she could take me to the airport to get his car and then I could run to the mall for just a few minutes, while Kaz took care of Annie Rice. As soon as I got in the car, I knew something wasn’t right..Just my luck. I was 20 minutes away from home with a car that spurted and shook like crazy. For not having car problems in a long time, we’ve had our share lately! We just bought a new vehicle a month ago because Kaz’s old car died. I thankfully made it home[believe me, I prayed the whole way]. As I walk in the door, Annie Rice throws up again everywhere. She played in the bathtub the last 3 hours before going to bed. She was down for the night, Maggie had been fed, and I just wanted a few hours on my birthday to watch TV, EAT because with everything going on, I hadn’t done that, and just not think about anything. Well, for the first time ever, something[I don't know what] spooked Maggie so much that she was screaming with terror. I got her calmed down and decided she could sleep in the pack n play that night in our room. It had been a day to remember...What a way to celebrate 30...

Monday came around, and I was HOPING things would be better, but they just kept getting worse. Annie Rice was sicker than ever. We ended up having to take her to the ER for dehydration. Kaz tried fixing the car, but what he fixed wasn’t the problem, and to make matters worse, Kaz now has the stomach bug! That’s the short version....Oh, and I can't forget how I promised Annie Rice if she felt better we would make sugar cookies...I made them while she was sleeping and thought if she felt better she could decorate them when she woke up. She asked to make cookies after he nap, I had everything on the table, and dropped the entire thing of cookies...They were in crumbles! She no longer wanted to decorate then:(

I’m PRAYING TODAY IS BETTER. Annie Rice is still very puny. She still wants to sit in my lap and watch the Drummer Boy over and over[and I’m okay with that...I love cuddling and holding her hand]. Kaz is in the bedroom locked away from everyone. I’m PRAYING me and Maggie are spared from this bug BECAUSE TOMORROW we celebrate her adoption being finalized in court. What a JOYOUS day. While these last few days have been humorous, they have also been draining and satan has used every opportunity to steal my JOY from the wonderful things to come this week. This morning, I have been praying for healing over this house and that the JOYOUS events of this week would go as planned. Will you join me in praying for healing?

making christmas cones...

 waiting on daddy at the airport with her treasure map

 last date with Kaz in my 20s...

 day 1 of stomach bug..

 day 2....

 broken cookies...

 day 3..today

HIS protection...

 Last week, we spent the whole week in the mountains with Kaz’s family. We rented a cabin in Beech Mountain, NC and had a wonderful week with family and a week free from cell phone service and internet service...it was very nice! 

We booked the cabin back in the summer and I never imagined that we would be celebrating Thanksgiving as a family of 4. We sure are blessed. On Thanksgiving night, I had a lot more to be THANKFUL for than when the morning started...Let me explain. 

The cabin that we stayed in had 3 stories[upstairs, main level, and basement]. Annie Rice has been working hard in therapy for the last few months on climbing stairs. Since we don’t have stairs in our house, she has to practice on 2 blocks. I was thrilled when we got the cabin and saw just how much she loved climbing the stairs. She would literally go up them 20 times+ a day. Kaz and I were so proud, because she has been working so hard on climbing stairs and she was not crawling up them, but climbing them holding onto the railing. She became really good at it, enjoyed it, and became so proud herself. On Thanksgiving, I went down to the basement to get something. She was not far behind me. I started down the stairs and made it to the bottom and had turned the corner, when I heard Annie Rice scream followed by a thump. I turned around and when I got to the stairs, what I witnessed has left a horrible image in my mind. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the basement stairs were a little deeper and she couldn’t reach the railing. She slipped on the top step and literally bounced like a ball all the way to the bottom step where I caught her. She bounced on the wood stairs from her head to her feet numerous times. I saw her eyes go back in her head as she hit each stair on her head, and by the time I got to her I was crying more than she was. She cried hysterically for 30 minutes. I held her as tight as I could and wanted to rush right out and go to the hospital. Since I saw it, I couldn’t imagine that there wouldn’t be any damage. I yelled for Kaz and when he came down, we prayed over her precious little head. For the next 30 minutes, I blamed myself thinking I should have waited on her. I should have held her hand. I wished I could go back and erase the whole thing. I was scared out of my mind that something was wrong with her head. Since she had plagiocephaly as a child, and still has a soft spot on her head, the thoughts crossing through my mind were horrible. We continued to pray over her and within about 40 minutes she was completely back to her normal self, with a big goose egg on her head. We watched her closely for the next couple of hours, and after seeing the “normal Annie Rice” we decided not to go to the doctor. After the whole thing happened, I just wanted to get away and cry my eyes out. I have never been so scared in my whole life. 

One of the things that I loved most about being in the mountains, was seeing the deer in our yard everyday. We saw anywhere from 4-10 every day, and each time I would see one out of the window, I would sneak out onto the porch to watch them. I did that on Thanksgiving night, and was reminded of the Lord’s protection over His children. I believe He had a shield around Annie Rice as she fell down those 18 steps. For her to have no injuries other than a goose egg and a lot of black/blue bruises is a miracle. I had a lot more to be THANKFUL for on Thanksgiving than what I started the morning off with. 

His goodness and FAITHFULNESS in my life increases more and more each day, and I don’t deserve any of the blessings He has given me. BUT I will praise HIM each day for the trials and the blessings that He entrusts me with. I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. 

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. Psalm 18:30

sweet music to my ears...

I am SO BLESSED. I don't deserve any of the blessings the Lord has given me, but I'm so thankful for them all...Especially my sweet Annie Rice. She brings so much JOY into our lives. Her favorite song to sing is "10,000 reasons" by Matt Redman. She ask to hear it probably 20 times a day and will burst into song throughout the day. It's been impossible for us to catch her singing on video, so we decided to get her to do it by using "simon says" and let Kaz record it while we were driving back last night from the mountains. It is such sweet music to my ears, and I know that her sweet little voice singing as loud as she can, brings so much glory to our God. She is a precious gift and I pray that as she grows into a woman she continues to sing her sweet little heart out to the Lord. 

finally back...

What a busy few weeks the Prikazsky's have had! Just to give you a little brief idea..We've had Maggie Ruth for 6 weeks. In those weeks, I've had 6 weddings[all which have been edited before the next], and 10 sessions. That's enough to keep me extremely busy without adding anything else to it. Kaz was out in Colorado for a week, and for the last 6 weeks, someone in our family has been sick. Maggie Ruth had a cold for 4 weeks, Annie Rice has had colds off and on, I got a really bad cold, lost my voice the day before I had 2 weddings[one lasting 10 hours, the other 9 hours], had an allergic reaction on my feet, both of our cars have been in the shop over the last 3 weeks, we had family staying with us for 2 weeks, the stomach bug....oh yea, and let me add being a wife and mom to that list! It's been a little C-R-A-Z-Y in our house, but things are slowing down...Well, as much as they can around the holidays!  We've also had a lot of really exiting things happen over the last 2 weeks. Our family was featured in LowCountry Parent Magazine and then also the Post and Courier picked up the story. It was pretty neat. I've also had the opportunity to share our story with several MOPS groups in South Carolina, and got to share with about 50 moms this past week. We've gotten some pretty neat phone calls from the articles and I've been recognized while out in town by some people. Kind of felt like a celebrity;) 

The girls are both doing good. I've enjoyed them so much. Annie Rice has the best personality and is becoming such a little girly girly. This morning when I put her dress on for preschool, she said "oh mommy, so cute." I asked to take a picture to send to Kaz and she immediately put her hand on her hip! I love the mornings with Maggie Ruth because she is so aware and smiles up a storm. They are such blessings to our family and I feel so honored to be there mom. 

the story of Maggie Ruth...

Back in May/June, Kaz and I felt very strongly that the Lord was calling us to adopt again. It honestly scared me to no end. I had more fears and concerns than I did during our first adoption. I fought it pretty much everyday and then there would be times where I was so excited for it. We talked about what we would do if we did adopt again...We went through Bethany Christian Services for our first adoption, but we have also become friends with a social work over a smaller agency here in Summerville. At the same time, I’ve always thought about international adoption, so we had also talked about the possibility of that. I started doing research, and looking at international adoption excited me so much, BUT every time I would get off the computer after looking, it just didn’t feel right. So we made the decision to go with Bethany again. I literally fought this the majority of the time[another adoption that is]. I specifically remember one day driving and calling Kaz to tell him that I thought we just needed to wait until January to start the adoption process again. I gave him every reason financially and logistically why we should wait. His response was, “we can talk about this when you get home.” The next day, I felt so embarrassed because I knew the Lord was calling us to adopt, but satan was using my fears to fight it, and fight it hard. SO I made the step of filling out the initial paperwork with Bethany without telling Kaz before I did it....I needed to be the one to fill out the paperwork because I was the one that satan was fighting with so much... We were approved, and knew that because all of the other steps we had to compete, it would be at least December before we were on the waiting list. I was OKAY with that. I was in no rush. The WEIRD part was, after we made that commitment and “announced” our news, we felt the Lord telling us to STOP and not move forward with Bethany. That’s the crazy part...Why would He lay this calling so heavily on our hearts, just to stop us? It didn’t make any sense. I honestly became very frustrated. Back in June, I started doing the Ruth bible study, by Kelly Minter, with 2 other girls from our church. They saw me struggle with making the commitment to adopt again, and one night in bible study I broke down on them because I felt so directionless. It didn’t make sense. The Lord would not get adoption off of my heart, and it was very clear He was calling us to move forward right then. So we started praying as a group, along with Kaz and I for direction. 

Roughly around 3 weeks later, we were at my parents house for labor day. We had a great weekend, and were getting ready to leave to come back home, when I decided to check my email and facebook. When I’m at their house, I get absolutely no service on my cell phone, so my messages aren’t instant. I have to check them on the computer. I pulled facebook up and I had a message from a friend from years ago asking if we would be interested in adopting a baby girl being born at the end of the month. I think my mouth literally dropped right there...the end of the month? But I thought it would be NEXT YEAR...I showed the message to Kaz and we decided to talk about it on the drive home. 

The first 45 minutes, I cried the whole time. My words were something like this, “But I’m not ready. What about Annie Rice? What about work? We have nothing ready. This isn’t what we planned. I don’t even know if I want 2. How would this work? What about me, me, me, me, me?” I was completely scared out of my mind. I needed to run in Hobby Lobby a minute before we left Florence, so Kaz dropped me off while he went to another store. What’s so funny, is during that time in Hobby Lobby, my fears started going away. I started looking at nursery decorations and even bought fabric for the nursery bedding. I became so excited I couldn’t help but begin planning. When Kaz picked me up, he said ,”wow, that was fast.” I wasn’t completely 100% sure of this, but IF THIS WAS WHAT THE LORD HAD IN STORE FOR US, IT HAD TO BE GOOD. We talked about it the whole 3 hour ride home, and there were A LOT more tears, but it all got better! Satan was using my fears to paralyze me from seeing what the Lord had in store. We talked to our lawyer and sent over our profile book for the birth mom to look through it. That day was September 3rd. We were told we should hear a yes or no by that weekend, September 7-9th. Kaz was leaving on a 10 day mission trip on September 13th. We prayed so hard to know by the 7th. If this was going to happen, we needed to start preparing and have everything ready by the time Kaz left because the due date was 2 days after he got back from his trip! I’m not going to lie...During that waiting period, I KNEW this was our daughter. It was the same feelings I had before we got Annie Rice. BUT I knew the Lord had to work a lot out, so I just kept praying. Did I mention we didn’t have a current home study? We found out Friday the 7th, that the birth mom wanted us to be the parents. She really liked us and had looked at an agency, the state, and other people they knew and no one seemed right for her baby. SO we contact our lawyer, and asked and prayed if we could have a home study done in those few days before Kaz left on his trip! Can you believe our home study was done in less than 5 days[our part at least]. Miracles happened. We were able to get physicals in a days timing[which is a miracle because we were told they schedule those 3 months out]. Miracle after miracle happened. 

That saturday after we found out, my sweet friend[and member of our bible study] Jennifer, went with me to Babies R Us to look at cribs and dressers. We had to quickly change our guest room into a nursery. I didn’t know if I would be able to bring things home that day, but I was sure hoping because I knew if I had to order them, Kaz would not be able to put them together before he left on his trip. We got to Babies R Us and I told the worker that I needed a white crib and dresser and preferred not to order it, BUT I also didn’t want the most expensive one. She said in most cases you have to order, but she would look in the back. She had 1 white crib in stock, the most basic you can get, which was EXACTLY what I wanted[I had already looked online]. They also had a white dresser in the clearance section still in the box that I could take home that day! Our next stop was the furniture store...I needed a grey sofa bed[the guest room became the nursery]. I told the sales lady what I wanted and that I couldn’t wait 4-6 weeks for it to arrive. She said, “we actually have 1 grey sofa bed that just came in the other day. How does Monday work for delivery?” So in a 3 hour time frame, I had basically the whole nursery complete! ANOTHER GOD THING. 

The next day, we told our sunday school class what had happened and asked for prayer. During sunday school, one of the husbands in the class came up to Kaz and said they had a ton of girl stuff that had been sitting in their garage that they needed to give away. They didn’t need it anymore. Their daughters birthday was the same as our birth mom's due date! They met us that night with a van full of stuff. A swing, bouncer, play mat, exersaucer, changing pad, 12 boxes of clothes, etc. REALLY? The Lord was showing us that HE WAS ALL OVER THIS and He was IN CHARGE. He was taking care of the details...2 days later we met with our social worker to have our home visit for the home study. It was a breeze. 2 days later, Kaz left for his mission trip. AN HOUR before he left the states, I got a message saying they may induce the birth mom 2 days before he was supposed to arrive back home. We began praying hard. I knew that if the Lord wanted this, it would happen, BUT I REALLY wanted Kaz here. 

While he was gone those 10 days, my emotions were all over the place. In the beginning, I was a little mad that he was gone during all of this, and I had no way of contacting him. I was having to make decisions that I never imaged I would make on my own. Then my perspective changed so much, and I began just to pray for him and that the Lord would use him to reach this people group he would be ministering too. I began to see that the Lord thought we could handle this even as crazy as it sounds and as it felt, and HE WAS THE ONLY ONE I COULD RELY ON FOR STRENGTH during this time that Kaz was away. 

Kaz arrived back home on Sunday, September 23rd and I just really thought the birth mom would go in labor that day. BUT, JUST as I said, the Lord had a plan and he allowed our family of 3 to spend time together for a little over a week before the birth mom went in labor. I didn't expect that long...BUT I'm thankful HE GAVE us that. We needed it as a family, and Kaz needed to re-cooperate from his trip. We had been tossing around some names and I really wanted to use the name Margaret. Both grandmothers had it, my aunts and cousins have it, and it's my middle name. Originally, I wanted to use it with another name. We had the name Mary Margaret picked out and I even told my parents that was the name BUT the Lord would not get the name Ruth off of my mind. Kaz loved the name Mary Margaret and when we prayed for this sweet baby, he prayed for her by that name. I talked to him about Ruth and how special it was to me because the Lord had done SO MUCH through the Ruth bible study I had been doing. This whole adoption story happened during this study. The Ruth study honestly changed my life..so he thought about it for a couple days, and really knew my mind was set so he said okay:) HaHa

We got the phone call Monday afternoon that this sweet baby girl was born. The birthmoms delivery was a miracle and even blew the doctors and nurses away...but it wasn't a surprise to us, because we had been praying for exactly what happened. Miracle after miracle. We met sweet Maggie Ruth yesterday. I honestly didn't know how I would feel. With any child, there's a period of bonding and I was so nervous because we knew nothing about newborns and since I didn't physically carry her for 9 months, that bond was only made through prayer up until that point. BUT the Lord is good. When we saw her sweet little face, I fell in love. She's the sweetest baby and such a blessing from God. I really wish I could share more of this story...there's so many details I just can't, but it has been a true testimony to me that GOD IS IN CONTROL OF EVERY DETAIL, HE will allow things to happen that you never dreamed of if they are in HIS plan, and HIS BLESSINGS are more than I deserve. I am so thankful for our little family of 4. It's not what I ever imagined, but I couldn't be happier!