Friday, February 19, 2010

Considering it pure joy....

I think[FOR NOW] I’m finally at a place where I can be happy for other people who are pregnant….It’s been a long journey with infertility and so much of me has wanted to give up completely…I’ve experienced a lot of hurt[still do] but at the same time I’m seeing this trial as a blessing….

I was talking to a friend yesterday who is pregnant…It’s the first time I’ve talked to her in awhile and she told me the story of how she found out she was pregnant, and a little of her and her husbands story since then…Normally, when I talk to friends and they tell me this stuff I cry but yesterday was different. I was actually happy for them….Not that I’m not happy for other friends but initially I’m sad because all I think about is that I don’t have children, and question my faith, and why it isn’t happening for us. But yesterday, I really didn’t do that….I was rejoicing that the Lord was faithful to this couple in this way…

You see, Kaz and I truly can look back and see WHY we haven’t had children yet. We are THANKFUL that it didn’t happen 2 years ago when we started trying because the Lord has done so much in our lives since then and has truly PREPARED us for the day we do have a child. He has PROVIDED for us in ways we would have never expected, and has GROWN our marriage to be stronger. BUT more importantly, HE HAS given us THANKFUL hearts, HOPEFUL hearts. PRAYING hearts, and LOVING hearts.

By any means, I’m not perfect….and I still have really rough days with this, but for NOW I’m satisfied and content with our lives…I’m still PRAYING for a child, and most important I’m HOPEFUL and BELIEVING that we will have a child!!!

Dear friends, if you struggle with infertility I would love to hear your story or simply pray for you. Please email me….
If you have a blog dedicated to a certain ministry or struggle, please go to Kelly’s Korner for Show Us Your Life Friday….

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

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12 comments:

Krista Lord said...

I found your blog through Kelly's Korner. Thank you for your honesty. I've walked your road and now how you feel. I pray the Lord will bless you soon with a baby. Will be praying for you.
www.kristalord.com

Beth Priest said...

This is an exciting place God has brought you to! I know it is a constant fight but I am so excited for you!

Abby said...

I could have written this same post and not said it any better than you did. It's amazing to find someone that understands exactly what is going on inside my head/heart. My girlfriends are supportive, but they have kids...they don't fully understand the grief and heartache. We have been married for almost 4 years and TTC for almost 2 years. And I feel the same way. I'm thankful that we didn't get pregnant when we first started trying because we have had trials and grown so much in those years. It's just hard to know that for some people it comes so easily and for some of us it doesn't. We keep trusting that God has a plan. He has showed us that in the past with other areas of our lives. So we keep trusting and praying.

Thanks for this post!

Lesli said...

Thank you for sharing your story, I have also been in your situation. I struggled with infertility for two years, went through all the test etc and finally we were blessed with your little angel! She is now three and God decided to bless us with our son five months after having out daughter!! God is good, he has a plan for you! I will keep you in my prayers!

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

so glad the Lord is redeeming your pain! how great it is to know that other people are dealing with the same exact thing... may it be a blessing an encouragment to you! i'm praying that today i will find my someone who knows exactly where i've been! : )

Ashley said...

Thank you for being honest about your feelings. More importantly, thank you for glorifying God through your pain. I have to constantly remind myself that I can only see little pieces of the puzzle while He sees the whole big picture! God has an awesome plan for your family. Keep trusting Him!

Lesli Westfall said...

Coming over to your blog from Kelly's Korner, so sorry you've been through much. I pray and hope the best for you and that God will grant the desire of your heart very soon!

Just want to share my website with you, hoping to encourage you while you wait. Dancing Upon Barren Land ~ Spiritual Nourishment for the Infertility Road, www.dancinguponbarrenland.com.

Abundant blessings to you!
Lesli Westfall

Rhonda said...

Thanks for sharing your heart-felt post Amy. I just wanted you to know I have written you down in my prayer book and will be praying for you all. I can't wait to see how the Lord will work in your life.

Beth Forbus said...

Hi Amy,

Found your blog on Kelly’s Korner. Thanks for sharing your story. I think it's amazing that you're able to find joy in your friend's pregnancy and that you offer to pray for others. God has truly given you a servant's heart!


I wanted to let you know about Sarah’s Laughter, the ministry God gave me through my own struggle with infertility. We’d love to encourage you as you continue on your journey, and offer you our support however we can. Our Daily Double Portions are encouraging devotions we send every day to build you up and uplift you as you face the daily struggle of infertility. If there’s anything Sarah’s Laughter can do for you, please don’t hesitate to let us know. We care about you and your journey. www.sarahs-laughter.com

Indy said...

Hi there! I found your blog through Kelly's Korner and can totally relate to your heart in this post. Looking forward to getting to know you better. I am adding you to my prayer list.

Kara said...

Found your blog on Kelly's Korner. Thanks for sharing your heart on here. I can totally see myself in your post and where I was about 5 years ago. Having someone to go through this journey with was one of the greatest gifts God gave me. Having people who understood and emphathized was also a blessing. God knew what Eph 3:20 was for me and He gave me two of the greatest joys of my life in my children. They came to us through our adoption journey and are now 4 1/2 and 18 months old. We got our daughter at 4 weeks old and brought our son home from the hospital. My life is not what I planned, but God's plans are so much better than ours. Praying for you today. God knows what you need and loves you so much. I love looking back on our story and seeing God's love and hand on me during some of the hardest parts where I thought I couldn't cry it out anymore. Journaling is a great way to look back and see this on your journey. Hugs.

Jessica said...

I am in the same boat sister! We have been trying for 5 years and just became active with an adoption agency. We will see what the Lord has for us, and we will be praying for you and your hubby as well. These trials are light and momentary compared to the joy that is to come!