Wednesday, March 03, 2010

the struggle with my outward apperance....

First, if you haven't entered the fabulous pearl necklace giveaway that I’m doing, please go here to enter!

I’ve been beating myself up the past couple of days with my appearance…..YUK!
Why is it that I’m never satisfied with how I look? At times, I define my whole being with the way I look….I started 2010 out great eating healthy, running, loosing weight and then slowly I’ve gotten into old habits and have beaten myself up about it! Why do I put so much emphasis on the way I look? Shouldn’t I be more concerned with my heart and spiritual life than my outward appearance? Why do I constantly criticize myself and believe that the way I look defines me……

I know I’m not alone in thinking these thoughts…We’ve all done it at times….AND let’s face it- this is what our world teaches….It’s everywhere…..Everyday I see other women and I think, I wish I looked like that….then my brain starts churning at what I need to do to get to that place where I can look like that….It’s awful. I start out the day eating great, then if I have 1 small thing that maybe wasn’t as good for me, I feel like and BELIEVE that I’ve blown it so why not continue eating bad the rest of the day….Isn’t this CRAZY thinking? Do you do this? Why do I feel the need to look perfect? This is a constant battle….I DON’T WANT TO STRUGGLE WITH THIS MY WHOLE LIFE…..I WANT to believe truth and see myself in the Lord’s eyes and not in fleshly human eyes….
I’m trying so hard to fight this with truth….to believe that my value is not in the way I look…..

I want to be this woman[Proverbs 31]
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

What about you? How do you fight to believe truth in this area?

35 comments:

Sabrina said...

I do the same exact thing. Just today I was looking at a Victoria's Secret catalog and thinking to myself: Why can't my butt look like that?
The ironic thing is, not even the models tushy looks like that...she's been airbrushed and posed and then the picture was retouched. And she gets paid to work out so she better be looking pretty darn good.

All that to say....believing that I'm beautiful is definitely a struggle. I'm just now learning that what makes me beautiful is that I was created in His image. My husband is also very complimentary so that helps too ;-).

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

ha! there's a victoria's commercial on right now which makes me laugh after reading sabrina's comment. i was totally thinking the same thing she was! ha. i think every single female on earth deals with this all the time. i just started beth moore's daniel study and it is addresses this. i'm so excited to learn how to better fight off this battle called self image!

Beth Priest said...

I do struggle with putting alot of emphasis on my outward appearance. I alot of times will put alot more effort into making me look "good" like clothes,makeup, exercise and whatever else and care more about those things than I do about communing with God. You are beautiful Amy and your value and your worth can only be found in Christ alone. talk with you soon!

Dawn B said...

You know what I love to do? Look online at those photos of celebrities without makeup on/ untouched photos before photoshop gets a hold of it. That cheers me up. LOL
Before I forget, thanks for stopping by our family blog!! =)

We 2 B's said...

I do the same thing. I think we all do. I did totally relate to the well I made one bad choice I might as well continue today... and often times tomorrow as well! I wish I had an answer for you, but I think you are on the right track of looking to Him for your answers. I know God made us and He doesn't mess up! Hang in there!

Rebecca Jo said...

First - SOOOO glad you found me, so I could find your blog! :)

But wow - its such a struggle, isnt it? Society puts so much pressure on us to have that "look" - I think even looking at some of the most amazing Christian women leaders, they are ALL beautiful - & we tend to compare ourselves to them - & to all the beautiful women in the world.... but you are so right, its so much more - because I have seen some beautiful women that have some UGLY hearts & you know what? They're not so beautiful anymore...

Chelsie Denson said...

Here is a quote from Beth Moore that goes great with this post, "But I'd better learn to be wise, moderate, and discerning. If we don't separate entertainment from identity and hyped images from real womanhood, our feminine souls are going to pass straight through the shredder. We must stop affirming and reaffirming to ourselves how inferior we are. It's extremely unhealthy, and in reality, it's the furthest thing from God's concept of humility."
This hit me hard. Beauty is a battle it seems like. We want to look good for our husbands and for ourselves but it seems like media always beats us to it. Hopefully this is a bit encouraging for you! Great post.

Jennifer Juniper said...

What Sabrina says is true, what we're aspiring to is an airbrushed, photoshopped impossibility. I'm not saying that I don't also struggle, but reminding myself of this fact helps.

Jessica said...

First of all, I think you look gorgeous! Second, if you just let go and live life happy and in the Lord, you will find that you have never looked more beautiful!

Jocelyn said...

I go through the same thoughts and struggles and I always put so much emphasis on my outward appearance...sometimes probably way too much. I always have to stop and think on Who made me and why I was created. That definitely puts it into perspective!

amy (metz) walker said...

Great post! I actually just posted about this same thing recently! Every time I've been saying something to myself ABOUT myself, I've been asking the question: Would I say this statement to my very best friend?! If I wouldn't it, I shouldn't be saying it to myself either...but I'm definitely a work in progress!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Ryan and Ashley Snell said...

I struggle with this too. Especially that part where you talk about eating one thing wrong a day and letting the rest go down hill. Everyday is a battle for me.

I am reading SO LONG INSECURITY, Beth Moore's new book. I think every female should read it!!!

Katie said...

i'm so glad you found my blog, i LOVE yours! and oh HONEY do i ever know what you're talking about! i think we may be one in the same in this aspect. but you are so right, we need to see each other through the Lord's eyes. That we are beautiful and HIS and bought with the blood of his Son. And that doesn't change no matter what you put in your mouth or what pant size you are. Thanks for this post, nice to know someone out there has the same crazy thoughts I do!

PS - I too, am now a new follower of YOUR blog! :)

Jennifer said...

I can totally relate! I've gained weight over the last two years while TTC. Ugh! I often find myself doing the exact same thing you do. I feel bad about myself even though I know that is not what matters. I think what you said about the world teaching that outer beauty is what matters still gets to us no matter how much we know it's not true.

I needed to hear this today. Thanks for the reminder.

Thanks for stopping by my blog too. Can't wait to catch up on your blog. It is super cute...who designed it? I need something new for mine!

Stephanie said...

Thanks for posting this. In every area of my life, right now, I am trying to focus on what really matters. And having a heart that is beautiful in the sight of God is way more important than what we look like.
You are beautiful inside and out :)

Rhonda said...

I have a future blog post about this very subject. We women are so hard on ourselves. We need to see ourselves as the Lord does. Beautiful! You are beautiful!

Debbie said...

We have ALL been in the same boat at one point or another. And even when we begin to think we're past that thinking, it sneaks up on us once again. Why would the enemy want us to see ourselves for what we were meant to be? Have you read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge? You'd enjoy that one.

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace...You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon." {Song 4:9,15}

You are beautiful.

Taylor @ The Undomestic Momma said...

I struggle with the same thing girl! You are gorgeous though and do not need to worry!

Sarah Ann said...

I do the same thing all of the time. Very encouraging..

PS I left you something over at my blog!!

Hattie said...

This was the topic on Oprah yesterday. Did you see it? I struggle everyday too! My weight is my biggest issue. I hate it when people say I look good for having 4 kids. It would be nice to have just one person to say that I just look good for being me!

3 Blessings said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog. I look forward to following your journey. If you have any questions please feel free to email me anytime. I would love to help. Also, do not be concerned about the finances. I could share with you story after story of families that took the leap of faith towards adoption and God has provided every penny through one way or another. Absolutely amazing. He wants HIS children brought to homes and He will guide you when you take that leap of faith.
Many many blessings,
Amy

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Precious sister,

Thank you so much for stopping in my blog. I just know it was God that brought you there.

We all struggle with insecurity - even at the age of 47 I do! I am a mom to 3 grown daughters and have 5 amazing grandyoungin's. I have a wonderful husband of 25 years, but I still struggle!

I would love to put you and your husband on my prayer blog - i have a heading under infertility. God already has a praise in that category! THe link to it is on my regular blog. If it is OK to add you, just email me and let me know!

Love to you - Beth

elizabeth said...

Excited to have you following my blog, and to get to know you via your blog as well!

Emma said...

I think women in general feel like this. The important thing is that you acknowledge it and try to always be happy with yourself because you are beautiful :)

elizabeth said...

Just read your about us and realized you have much in common with my daughter and her husband. They struggles for over 8 years with trying to have a baby. They had 3 miscarriages. But God hears and answers! Our precious granddaughter just turned one! If you look on my blog her blog is on my blog list...jenn becker.

elizabeth said...

http://jennbecker.blogspot.com/

I bet she would love to hear from you...tell her mama sent you!

Ginger said...

Amy I have stuggled with that for 55 years, it nevers changes and I wish it did, I have been small, I have been big, where I am now, wishing I was small, getting mad at myself because I am not but I am tired of the yo yo and so I use that as an excuse to make myself believe I am happy with my weight then when I think about taking a picture or something I tell myself no I got to wait until I lose some weight, I see someone I haven't seen in a while and I want to hide instead of talking to them. I get mad at myself bacause I say if I am not happy with how I look then I should do something about it and then I tell myself well people should just like me no matter what I look like and to be honest, we beat our own self up because have you ever seen a friend and didn't like them anymore because they are fatter, you might say wow they have gained weight, but you still walk away saying it was good to see so and so again. We are our own worst enemy, and if you figure out how we can forget about our outward appearance which we all no doesn't matter, let me know. I tell me kids all the time it doesn't matter to my grandkids how big or little I am or what my makeup and hair looks like, that may be one on the reason I love spending so much time with them, I can truely be me when I am with them and they love me for who I am and not what I look like, on the other hand my girls will say Mama I can't believe you went out in public like that. Remember the Bible says have a child like faith. Wish I could put that faith into practice. Good luck with the appearance, you are beautiful inside and out, but just remember whats on the inside can make you appear beautiful on the outside but the outside beauty can NOT make you beautiful on the inside, and the inside is the most important.

Loren said...

So glad to have your sweet visit at my blog today :) I look forward to knowing you more and more!
I have had some health issues over the past few years and was put on prednisone which cause some serious weight gain....can you say FRUSTRATED! Being over 40 it isn't coming off very easy either! I am off that medicine now Praise God! Here is a verse that I remind myself and my daughter of
The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord Psalm 45:11

You are a beautiful girl! Keep your mind full of How the Lord sees you my friend....HE truly is ENTHRALLED with YOUR Beauty!

Kelsey @ Seattle Smith's said...

This is part of the day to day journey in life and reality, right?! The pros and cons for sure! YOU are gorgeous though lady!

God's Girl said...

I love that verse in Proverbs! I have a new struggle and that is my weight. I have always been thin and just in the last few years I've gained lots of weight because of my health problems. It can be a tough one.

Thanks for sharing! so nice to meet you!

Kristy said...

Hey Amy!
Thanks so much for your comments! It is always so nice to meet new blog friends! :)
Your blog is adorable, and I'm following now!
The rounded pictures are on behalf of the best blog secret ever!! I downloaded Windows Live Writer (for free!), and it allows you to post straight from WLW to blogger. You can change up the picture arrangement, do simple edits, and stretch them to be bigger. It is really easy!

Chelle said...

I always do this. But after having the girls it's worse--and then I beat myself up for hating how I looked before having 2 kids. Ugh. It's a vicious cycle. I'll start working out, eating healthier and then I have a relapse.

I'm finally getting a little better. But then I ate 4 cinnamon rolls and now I'm totally kicking myself about it. Ahhh!

I just need to realize that I CAN do it. It will take time. It will be hard, but it is possible.

I think you are beautiful and look amazing. Seriously. xoxo

Indy said...

I do this ALL the time. I wish I had my husband's level of self-confidence...he can wear the tackiest thing and it doesn't affect his self-esteem one bit.

I have been asking the Lord to help me with this. I haven't quite found the solution, yet but I'm getting there with God's help.

Nadine said...

I'M SO VERY GUILTY OF THIS ONE...EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Such a battle. I've had multiple medical problems that have lead to serious weight gain over the years. I HATE how I look, but have no idea how to get back to where I use to be (or even close to it).

I have several of my "big kids" who may be getting married in the next couple of years, and I am dreading the "mother of the bride" thing. Totally dreading the picture taking. Definitely need to do something.

thanks for your honesty!

Laurel :)