Giveaway, Giveaway, Giveaway!!!!

This week[Feb 27^th-March 7^th] I'm hosting a giveaway from Diane, dianegianos etsy shop! It’s this beautiful Freshwater cultured pearl necklace!

This necklace is beautiful and can go with just about anything! This giveaway will close on Sunday, March 7^th at 8pm. The winner will be chosen at random, using an integer generator and I will announce the winner that evening.

You have 4 chances to win[You must have a blog account]:

1. Become a follower, and leave a comment telling me you are now following my blog!

2. Go to this wonderful etsy shop and leave a comment telling me which color necklace you like the best!
3. This one is just for fun:) Leave a comment telling me of 1 blog that I should visit and read!
4. Post this giveaway on your blog, facebook, or twitter and leave me a comment telling me you did!

Also, there is 10% discount on any purchase from D'yanas Collection. Just let her know that you found her shop through my blog! These necklaces[and other items] are great for gifts or just a present for yourself:)

1 year ago today.....

1 year ago today, I had knee surgery…..
1 year ago today, I was on my second round of Clomid…..
1 year ago today, I thought I would be a mom by 2010……..
1 year ago today, Amy Prikazsky Photography didn’t exist…….
1 year ago today, this blog didn’t exist……
1 year ago today, I felt alone in this infertility journey…..
1 year ago today, I didn’t know what the word HOPE really meant…..
1 year ago today, I cried every time a friend told me they were pregnant…..

Last night, I started thinking about 2009 and about where I am right now in my life….This time last year, I was hurting….When talking to my doctor about taking Clomid, she said “I guarantee within 4 months you will be pregnant”. At the time, I believed her and in the medicine….I was sure it would work! I didn’t really care about my appearance or weight because I was hurting and I KNEW I would be pregnant soon anyway so it wouldn’t matter…..I cried almost every day….I shut myself off emotionally to friends and family about where I was…..I was hurting….

Last year, was a whirlwind of emotions and blessings in my life. In November, the Lord really used Kaz, my amazing husband, to speak truth in my life about where I was personally and with this journey….At the time, it caused a big argument BUT I knew that what he was saying was truth and that he was right….

He encouraged me to open up to friends and family about where I was….See in my mind this is what I thought…

People didn’t bring up our situation because they didn’t want me to cry OR they didn’t know what to say….BUT TO ME I took it as no one cared because it wasn't talked about…But if I ever did talk about it, people felt bad or guilty because they have children and so it made me feel like I was a burden…I was the Debbie Downer….I felt all alone…..

Around this same time that Kaz talked to me, I became discouraged because I felt like no one else was going through this same thing….It was so hard to find books about it…or other people struggling….SO I started thinking about starting this blog….

Little did I know, that the Lord had bigger plans for my life during this same than I did. Once I opened up to friends and family, I felt peace and can now openly talk to them at anytime about where I’m at….They call me….Email me…Text me….Just to ask how I’m doing….It’s not the pink elephant in the room anymore that no one talks about….

When I started the blog, it was really to find other people who were going through the same thing….Little did I know, that the Lord would use it more for me than anyone else…..It’s caused me to be so real, open and honest with myself….

Little did I know, that at a time when I didn’t have any Hope, or see what was in store…the Lord used me to speak to a friend who was hurting about the same thing and help her on her own journey….Which brings me to now. Last night, my friend called me and told me exactly what our conversation at Christmas meant to her[To see my post about this go here…] She thanked me for sharing my heart and then told me she was pregnant….FOR THE FIRST TIME, I was actually happy for her. I didn’t cry because I wasn’t pregnant…I cried because the Lord was faithful to her and he had blessed her AND I saw that the Lord is good AND He has a plan. I was filled with joy for her….

Last night, as I thought about that and read some other blogs about infertility I came to this conclusion….

Even though I hurt…I feel honored that the Lord has me exactly where I’m at and that He has used my broken, sinful journey through infertility to touch others….I truly see this as a blessing and I’m at a place where I’m okay if I never have children on my own…Yes, I’m sure that will be a daily battle BUT it doesn’t mean that we won’t have children….I’ve truly seen the Lord show me and Kaz glimpses of His plan and it excites me so much. Through this blog, I’ve met and gotten emails from so many girls in the same place…different stories but same place and it’s an honor and privilege for me to be able to pray for them[and girls I do daily…].

When Kaz and I do have children, it will be the most special thing….and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The Lord has done so much in my heart and I truly know and believe what Hope is….

It is well Lord….It is well……

double date ideas...

SO this weekend a friend and I are planning a double date for my husband and her FUTURE husband:) I feel like I'm never creative when it comes to these things....I always tend to go towards cooking dinner or just going out to eat and then thats the end:( I NEED help on what to do! We don't want to spend a lot of money but something nice to show them they are loved! Tell me some creative dates you have planned OR fun dates with your love....

a little miracle.....

Lately, I’ve felt pretty overwhelmed with A LOT of stuff…..Kaz and I have been praying for some really BIG things[I PROMISE I will tell you one day….:)] to happen and it seemed like nothing was really happening….We would talk about these different things almost every day….They were constantly on my mind….and I have been ready to see the Lord answer these prayers….They literally involve a lot of different areas in our lives…BUT all connect to one another.

While we were in Nashville a few weeks ago, one day I was so overwhelmed that I had to be by myself….I was at the Blissdom conference around hundreds of women but felt all alone….So I decided to skip out on a session and just go journal by myself….I later sent Kaz an email of what I had journaled about and told him “I just need God to do something….I need God to do something so that I know we are doing the right thing….I need Him to do something…Just 1 thing”. Well, that was just my heart for a few days…I wasn’t believing that God was really in control and that’s why I felt like I needed Him to do something good in my life[Even though He does that everyday!]

Kaz and I have continued praying…..AND tonight we are rejoicing…The Lord didn’t answer one of our prayers BUT did something to show us that HE REALLY IS IN CONTROL and that HIS PLAN is so much better than what we can ever see or imagine for ourselves….His little miracle that he showed us tonight made me tear up because truly THE LORD IS GOOD! HIS PLAN IS PERFECT! HE WATCHES OVER US AND LOVES US…..

Don’t give up dear friend…There is HOPE in HIM!

Now to HIM who is ABLE to do IMMEASURABLY more than all we ask or IMAGINE...
Ephesians 3:20

5 things tuesday.....

Welcome to 5 things Tuesday! Here’s 5[not in any order] random things about me:)

1. I am in the process of starting a new adventure with my photography business…I have started a new blog called Photography Questions Answered..I will be posting 1-2 post a week about different tips, tricks, and products reviews on how to take good pictures whether you have a point and shoot or SLR camera. I also am teaching basic photography classes! My first one is March 12th in Columbia to a group of 6 girls and I’m also going to be teaching some via the internet[So if you are interested send me an email:)]

2. Kaz laughs at me all the time because of my country slang:) I say a lot of words funny…For example: Those heels are really big[should have been those hills are really big, or I ran up a big hill…I say it Heeeeels:)]

3. There’s something about Kaz and my dad when it comes to finding a parking spot…They park out in Arizona. I like parking close and will ride around for 2-3 minutes to look for a close spot. Kaz will park in the first spot he sees a mile away from the store. Are the men in your life like this? If it’s pouring rain, Kaz will park so far away….I don’t get it…..

4. I have an obsession and LOVE old people! I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. I always have….[I will definitely have another post on some old people who have had big impacts on my life]. I can see an older couple walking, or see an old man that I think is cute and just start crying. I love them to death but at the same time they break my heart. It’s a part of me.... BUT I love old people and think they are the cutest things and are just plain precious!

5. Kaz and I have nicknames that we call each other….He calls me “miss” and I call him “boo”. He’s my boo:) We love each other:)

Tell me 5 things[or less] about you!

Confession...

I have to confess….
Saturday night, I woke up around 3am. Normally when I wake up in the middle of the night, I will grab my phone[which is on the night stand beside me] and look at my email and facebook…[this is another story:)] So Saturday night, 3am I started connecting to my social media and I read a friends blog which talked about the things they have done craft wise for their children. This isn’t the first time, I’ve gotten down about this but it definitely made me think through things again…

Here’s the situation…I’m VERY VERY busy. The Lord has blessed us tremendously right now…I’m working a full time accountant job at a church PLUS doing photography full time AND have been doing this since May! It’s very very tiring AND THERE are SO MANY other things that I want to do[like sewing, crafts, spending more time with Kaz, etc] BUT I can’t. I don’t have the time….Back in December, Kaz asked what I wanted for Christmas. I REALLY wanted a sewing machine because I WANTED to learn how to sew…So he got the sewing machine BUT the more I thought about it I couldn’t use it. I didn’t have the time…So we took it back. SEE my problem is I WANT to do so many things BUT I haven’t been called to those things. The Lord has blessed me and called me to photography and in order for me to continually get better I have to learn and constantly study it….If I had it my way, I would be able to do all the things I want to do and be good at all of them BUT life’s not like that….Kaz has to remind me of this….Right now, it’s photography….This is what the Lord has entrusted me to do…..

So my confession….I stayed awake for an hour and a half getting upset about this. I REALLY want to learn how to sew and do other cool things like that BUT right NOW I can’t….I got upset about how little time I have right now for “extra activities”…..BUT I know where the Lord has us right now is for a season and He is blessing us with things we can’t yet see…. It reminded me of the parable of the talents[Matthew 25:13-20].

Are you ever like this?

Our latest family picture....

What do you think?

Considering it pure joy....

I think[FOR NOW] I’m finally at a place where I can be happy for other people who are pregnant….It’s been a long journey with infertility and so much of me has wanted to give up completely…I’ve experienced a lot of hurt[still do] but at the same time I’m seeing this trial as a blessing….

I was talking to a friend yesterday who is pregnant…It’s the first time I’ve talked to her in awhile and she told me the story of how she found out she was pregnant, and a little of her and her husbands story since then…Normally, when I talk to friends and they tell me this stuff I cry but yesterday was different. I was actually happy for them….Not that I’m not happy for other friends but initially I’m sad because all I think about is that I don’t have children, and question my faith, and why it isn’t happening for us. But yesterday, I really didn’t do that….I was rejoicing that the Lord was faithful to this couple in this way…

You see, Kaz and I truly can look back and see WHY we haven’t had children yet. We are THANKFUL that it didn’t happen 2 years ago when we started trying because the Lord has done so much in our lives since then and has truly PREPARED us for the day we do have a child. He has PROVIDED for us in ways we would have never expected, and has GROWN our marriage to be stronger. BUT more importantly, HE HAS given us THANKFUL hearts, HOPEFUL hearts. PRAYING hearts, and LOVING hearts.

By any means, I’m not perfect….and I still have really rough days with this, but for NOW I’m satisfied and content with our lives…I’m still PRAYING for a child, and most important I’m HOPEFUL and BELIEVING that we will have a child!!!

Dear friends, if you struggle with infertility I would love to hear your story or simply pray for you. Please email me….
If you have a blog dedicated to a certain ministry or struggle, please go to Kelly’s Korner for Show Us Your Life Friday….

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

Living in fear….

First, let me start by telling you a story that happened last night…

We bought a stroller from some friends of ours[NO, we are NOT pregnant BUT we do HOPE to have children one day AND this was a very nice stroller AND a great price!]. Well, it was in our office folded down and Miley happened to see if for the first time[We got it on Monday night]. Of course, she started barking at it and was VERY scared…I kept telling her it was Ok[because by me saying Ok, she knows it‘s OK to do something]. Well, she barked and had her tail between her legs. SO I HAD the brilliant[NOT REALLY] idea to open it up so that she could see the whole stroller. Well, I didn’t lock it so when she went to smell it, the stroller collapsed and she tucked her tail between her legs and took off running…I felt awful. So I put it up again and LOCKED it this time. She was so scared she wouldn’t even come near it. She got in the corner behind Kaz and tried her best to jump and get out of the wall in our kitchen[MIND, the stroller was nowhere near her at this time..]. So then I thought well I’ll force her to smell it SO I picked her up and took her over to it. She got away and wanted nothing to do with the stroller. SO THEN, Me AND Kaz put the stroller in the extra bedroom and took her in there and locked the door. We stayed for 20 MINUTES and still she wouldn’t go near it, so then Kaz tried once again to pick her up and take her to it. Miley was so scared that she started SHAKING FOR 10 MINUTES…SHE WAS SO SCARED. So we gave up trying….

BUT I FELT AWFUL….I FELT AWFUL THAT I TRIED TO MAKE HER LIKE IT..I FELT AWFUL THAT SHE WAS SCARED AND I MADE IT WORSE…I FELT AWFUL BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO BE SCARRED.

I thought about this all last night and it reminded me of some things in my own life…Miley couldn’t see that the stroller wouldn’t hurt her…She couldn’t see that everything was ok and she was safe. By her hiding from it, she was living in fear…I DO THIS ALL THE TIME. I LIVE IN FEAR 90% of the time. I automatically think the worst… It’s something Kaz and I always talk about…

I worry all the time that I left something plugged in at home, EVEN if I’ve checked it 3 times. I’ll leave for work and start worrying and in my mind I can already picture the house burned down, how I find out, and what we will do from there…
With adventurous stuff, like hiking I LIVE in fear and believe that an animal is going to attack me and Kaz is going to watch the whole thing, and I imagine what he would do without me….
If I call Kaz, and he doesn’t answer and I know he’s driving, I think the worst. I think what if he was in a car accident and something really bad is happening…how will I find out, what will I do, etc?

NOW I know this sounds crazy, BUT I KNOW that YOU have done this also…You may not do it AS MUCH as I do but it’s common for most women. NOW in doing this, I’m not trusting in the Lord’s protection of my life or His plan, AND I MISS OUT ON SOME REALLY GREAT THINGS. See just like with us last night…I KNEW that Miley would be okay. There was nothing that was going to happen to her BUT she DIDN’T see that or believe that. It’s the same with our walk with the Lord...HE HAS THE PERFECT PLAN…HE WATCHES OVER US….AND HE DOESN’T MAKE MISTAKES IN OUR LIFE[unlike me trying to push Miley to do something that probably made the situation worse…]
Even though I’m scared of the unknown[or future] because I can’t see what’s in store, it DOESN’T mean the worst…The Lord’s plan is PERFECT, HE IS GOOD, AND HIS PLAN IS GOOD FOR ME….AND FOR YOU!!

I’ve taken a lot from the incident last night and I’ve tried to explain it but maybe I haven’t in the best way….Did you get anything from this story? Any lessons learned or truth shown? Tell me about it….

Here are a few pictures from last night….

I slid off the tracks a little….

Do you ever start out on the right track and then slide off the road a little? Well, that’s how I’ve been with my healthy journey….

I did really really good for awhile…and then slowly I got off track. NOW I didn’t crash- just took a small turn…[I haven’t lost anymore weight BUT haven’t gained any either! I’ve continued to lose inches though:)]

Diet Coke: I didn’t have ANY for 2 weeks then I started compromising a little and now I’m back to drinking them a lot more….SO I’m going to try and start again taking it day by day. My thing is I really like the taste….I NEED something besides water to drink…I get bored drinking water ALL day. Do you have any suggestions?
Running: I was up to 7 miles!!! I’ve still continued running but not every day like I was so I’m starting back today! I at least want to run 5 days a week:) It’s just so hard for me to go to the gym after work, so If I don’t go during lunch then it’s easier for to me to justify in the afternoons not to go…

30 day shred: I made it to day 6:( So today I’m also starting back on it! I can do it, I can do it, I can do it! It’s 20 minutes a day…I CAN DO IT!
Eating healthy: I’ve still done really good at this. I’ve watched what I eat but at the same time I haven’t tried to control it so much! If we were out to eat, I got what I wanted and really enjoyed it but didn’t go overboard. I’ve found some really good healthy snacks to eat[cauliflower and fat free ranch dressing, mango delight with celery, etc]. For lunch I’ve been bringing chicken and brown rice, and 2 sweet potato round patties[If you’ve never had these, PLEASE go get them from your grocery store (frozen section)! They are amazing!!!]

AND 1 new sweet that I’m in LOVE with is this: Blue Bunny Aspen Bar! It’s amazing! I’ve been having it as my sweet after dinner and I really look forward to it. I will save all day on sweets just for this!!!

I found this cool and healthy blog…This lady loves green smoothies and drinks…I’m not there yet with the whole green thing[I’ve had bad experiences with green drinks] BUT I’m going to try some of her stuff! My friend Rhonda LOVES green drinks! Kaz and I LOVE juicing and have it every day! I can tell such a difference when I have juice and when I don’t[including my health…We juiced for a solid month and I never had sinus problems…We stopped for 1 week for vacation and I woke up the last 4 days with sinus problems every morning…Once we started back, I haven’t had a problem since…] That’s just one of the benefits I’ve seen!

Where are you on your healthy journey? Do you have any snacks or foods that you love? TELL me about them…I would LOVE to know!

5 things TUESDAY....

So from now on, every Tuesday will be 5 little things day....

1. Growing up I wanted a pet GOAT! My parents got me 2 when I was in college and I named them Billy and Giant! Giant didn’t last very long so then we got Leroy! Billy passed away:( BUT Leroy is still going strong…he eats a lot and looks pregnant ALL the time because he’s so fat!

Billy and Leroy

Me and Billy

2. I HATE getting up in the mornings…Kaz has such a hard time waking me up…This morning he tried for 30 minutes and finally I told him I wasn’t in a talking mood:) It only last for about 2-3 minutes that I’m grumpy but I HATE HATE HATE getting up….

3. The first thing I do when I get home every day is put on these oversized FMU[the college I attended] sweatpants. When I’m at home I like to be comfortable!

4. In college, I used to write the word “learnt” in all my papers, and then finally my sweet friend Anne told me “learnt” wasn’t a word:) It’s still a big joke today!

5. It stresses me out to wash my hair because I lose so much…I shed like crazy BUT shed the most after I take a shower. I can literally run my fingers through my hair and I pull out handfuls….In college, I was so stressed at one point that I started getting a bald spot:( and I would cry every morning while fixing my hair….SO NOW I only wash it every other day….

Tell me five things[OR LESS] about you:)

a lazy weekend....

This weekend was rare for me…I had no photography sessions or weddings!!! I intentionally didn’t plan anything because I wanted a whole weekend to do absolutely nothing!

Friday, I literally stayed on the couch ALL DAY! That morning I did go to a class at the gym, but after I got home I stayed on the couch all day. If I needed to get on the computer, I did it on the couch! It was wonderful:)

Saturday night, Kaz and I went on a valentines date to see the movie Valentine’s Day…I must say I was really disappointed. If we wouldn’t have been in the middle of the isle around a lot of people, I probably would have left. The movie portrayed teenage sex, affairs both in dating and marriage, keeping lies or secrets from your spouse or partner, and homosexual relationships. I sat through the whole movie thinking this is awful….So I was really bummed about that BUT it was nice to have a little date with Kaz!

Sunday, we were lazy again! We got to take a special little girl on a valentines lunch date and we had a blast! AND GET THIS….I took a 4 HOUR NAP on Sunday! Can you believe that? 4 hours!!!
It was a great weekend! I loved spending time with Kaz and truly being able to rest and relax! I hope you had a great weekend as well:)

Here’s a little surprise I had for Kaz. I made this heart and tied it around Miley’s neck with a shoestring…It’s not the best picture but she wouldn’t sit still:) Kaz LOVED it and Miley pranced around like she had on diamonds! [she's loves costumes...]

our story[part 2].....

So after I left the Atlanta airport it was only a matter of time before I went back to my former relationship…ONCE AGAIN, I hurt Kaz….I didn’t tell him but he found out which made it worse…..

After about 6 months, I broke things off for the LAST time with my former boyfriend….I honestly thought Kaz would never talk to me again BUT I felt like I needed to explain things to him so I wrote him an email[I was a chicken, so I emailed instead of calling!]. I heard through friends that Kaz was going on some dates and I just knew I had blown it…

My good friend Spence asked me to help with a project which of course Kaz was heading up…It was Spence’s way of getting us to talk again[he had been a fan of us from the beginning..]. SLOWLY, Kaz and I started talking. We emailed a lot at first, then talked on the phone about everything you can imagine[we used to talk about food a lot!], then we started going on few dates! It was my senior year, and the beach project was coming up again…This time it was different because Kaz was on staff with Campus Outreach and the project was in Orlando, FL and we all worked at Disney World! With Kaz being on staff, we weren’t really supposed to date during the summer BUT we managed to go on a few dates! All throughout the summer, he would surprise me with little gifts….little notes….and really anything he thought would make me smile! Over the summer, Kaz had invited me to a family wedding after project[he told me I would get to meet his FAMILY…]. I invited Kaz to spend a few days at Myrtle Beach with my family….

SO the last night of project was upon us, and around 12 at night I got a knock on our hotel door and it was Kaz. See most of the people on the project wasn’t leaving the next day until around noon BUT I was leaving that morning really early at like 5am so Kaz wanted to tell me bye. When he came to the door, he said “I wanted to ask you to be praying about us dating….” That was it. I was really confused because it wasn’t like this was something new….I had already been praying about it and I wanted him to know that….So after I thought about it for awhile I texted him the next day on the drive home and asked him if he was asking me to date or if was asking me to pray about it because I had already been praying about it…REMEMBER Kaz was VERY shy;) He wrote back and said it came out all wrong because he was nervous, and that he was asking me to date:)

Well, I wasn’t about to send him a text back because we weren’t together…SO the next day he had planned to come down to Myrtle Beach to spend a few days with my family. When Kaz arrived at the beach I was really nervous because there was this awkward tension between us….Later that night, we decided to go take a walk on the beach and after about 15 minutes of trying to brave the nerve to tell him I said, “I would love to date you…” If it wasn’t bad enough saying it[because I nervous], he didn’t hear me so I had to say it again!! So that’s how we started dating…We spent out first night as boyfriend and girlfriend watching The Incredibles on the front porch swing of the beach house at Myrtle Beach!

Fast forward 8 months later, and Kaz proposed[I will tell you how at a later time!]. We got married 5 months later and here we are today! I LOVE him with all my heart and I’m so thankful the Lord didn’t allow him to give up on me! Happy Valentine’s Day Kaz!

Our Story[Part 1]....

it's a little long....
NOW before you read this….remember don’t judge me:) We’ve all made mistakes....

In college, I dated this guy[not Kaz]. We broke up right before Summer Beach Project…Now in college, I was involved in Campus Outreach. Every summer we had a summer beach project usually in Cocco Beach, FL where 100+ students from The Collge of Charleston, The Citadel, Francis Marion University, and Charleston Southern University would attend. We worked during the day at local places and then at night had different trainings to help us grow in our walk with the Lord. So, I knew it was going to be a difficult summer because this guy was going to the beach project and we were both room leaders[We lead a room of 3-4 girls/or guys]. It just so happened that Kaz was in his room….. SO of course, I didn’t talk to Kaz and honestly I could have cared less about him. I had 2 really good friends who was head over heels for Kaz but I had never talked to him…That summer we had 2 interactions:)

1. I had very bad knee problems that I found about that summer…I was told to stop running[at that time I was running about 5 miles a day]. I couldn’t stop so every morning I would get up when it was still dark and go about a mile away from the hotel so no one would see me running….WELL Kaz loved running too so HE saw me every morning and never said a word:)
2. I asked to borrow some of this camo clothes for a 4th of July party we had! This is a picture of me wearing his cloths:)

So the summer was over, and I was back at school. My best friend Logan was dating Kaz’s roommate. A friends wedding was coming up so Logan and her boyfriend[Kaz’s roommate] talked Kaz into asking me….I didn’t know anything about Kaz. A lot of people always talked so highly of Kaz but I still associated him with my old boyfriend because they were roommates for a summer so I just didn’t know about him….Kaz called and asked me on the date. The date turned into a whole weekend date…See the wedding was in Charleston so me and Logan stayed with friends and since Kaz lived in Charleston we ended up going out a couple of times. We went to the wedding, went on a date to marble slab, and out to dinner….He was SO SWEET. He paid everytime….NOW, let me just say. Kaz had never had a girlfriend so he was really really nervous…It was cute!

After the dates, he ASKED if he could call me. Of course.. so he started calling and to be honest I liked him, I just wasn’t ready for a boyfriend….I told him and we still talked every now and then but not everyday…..The next summer we had the opportunity to go to South Africa with Campus Outreach[a group of about 18 students]. We had to raise support for the trip so we knew about 6 months out that we were going[Kaz was one of the guys]. So we started talking more and more, he asked me on a couple of dates, and I REALLY REALLY liked him. Now, let me just say….I NEVER felt like I DESERVED a guy as good as Kaz. He was such a sweet, pure, loving guy and the guy I dated before was completely different….I always felt guilty because in the previous relationship we had a very bad breakup and I never knew what Kaz knew…OR what he thought of me….Since he was roommates with this guy I had no idea what he knew about our relationship and so I always felt a little guilty….Mine and Kaz’s relationship started getting more serious and the week before we left for South Africa he asked if we could go on intentional dates while we were over there…[we were still just friends…we hadn’t had a define the relationship talk but I knew he wanted to date..]. WELL, I had never fully gotten over this other guy and a week before the trip he approached me and wanted to date again….I fell for it AND HURT Kaz for the 1st time[I say 1st time because as you will see there will be a LOT of these…].
South Africa Summer….
I didn’t talk to Kaz the first 3 weeks we were in South Africa..I completely acted like nothing had ever happened with us BUT at the same time didn’t tell him I was back dating this other guy BUT he knew….I can’t imagine how much I hurt him..
The couple[Cory and Shannon] that lead the trip had a trick up there sleeve[see we all lived in the same house for 3 months SO it was obvious there was tension]. I had planned to have lunch with Shannon one day, and it just so happened Kaz had planned to have lunch with Cory the same day. Instead of us driving separately, they decided we would ride together and eat at restaurants close by….AKWARD….It was the first time me and Kaz had to confront each other….

After around week 3, I felt really convicted about the relationship I was in…See it was always something that I wanted and never what the Lord was calling me too SO I did what I wanted most of the time. I called the guy and broke it off….Slowly, Kaz and I started talking as friends…He was over all the techincal stuff and at the end of the summer was in charge of making a video, so he took a lot of pictures that summer...One of the ways he started talking to me was by asking to take pictures of me:) I knew what he was doing though....HaHa...He asked me on a date middle of the summer and I was so excited and nervous I couldn’t even fix my own hair. I made my friend Taren straighten it for me:) We went ice skating and out to dinner and had a blast! Like I’ve mentioned before Kaz was very very sweet. He always would write me little notes of encouragement, buy me little gifts, etc…BUT THIS ONE topped it off…My parents decided to visit while we were in South Africa. The day they arrived I got extremely sick…SO sick I had to be taken to the ER and have fluids injected in me…It went on for about a week and at the beginning Kaz did everything he could to make me feel better. He would go to the store[without me asking] to get me medicine…My parents stayed at a house right down the road from the house we stayed in, so Kaz would go in the mornings and pick my parents up so they could come see me….or go with my dad to get medicine or food for me…He really really cared! The last week in South Africa, Kaz asked if we could continue going on dates when we returned to the US. I said yes…..Below are a few pictures from South Africa...

when my parents visited...

one of the pictures Kaz took...

I DON’T know what came over me but on the flight back home I was so ready to be at home I didn’t even tell Kaz goodbye….I left the Atlanta airport without even speaking to him or telling him bye…I completely ignored him…..He said at that point he knew…….

To be continued…..

this valentines day.....

I’m a very down to earth person….I don’t like doing BIG things for valentines day….Every year since we’ve been married I’ve wanted to do low key things….BUT let me tell you about our first valentines day…..

Kaz and I had been dating for about 7 months….I knew he was going to propose because Kaz can’t keep a secret[well I can’t either] so he had already spilled the beans and gave me a time frame for when it would happen….Well, of course that wasn’t enough so I kept asking for all these hints….So our first valentines day together he made reservations at a really high class restaurant downtown Charleston.

Kaz came over to my apartment valentines day morning and gave me a letter[Our 7 month anniversary was close to v-day, so we decided to do a joint celebration]. I’m going to tell you tomorrow and Sunday our story BUT let me just mention that Kaz was very very shy. I was his first girlfriend…it took him 4 months to even hold my hand….SO he gave me this letter and this was a part of it:

“Amy, thank you so much for choosing me, caring for me, putting up with me-I know that’s a lot and I can’t tell you how special you are and what you mean to me. Miss[that’s what he calls me] one day we are going to be together forever! Listen, can you hear me? No? Well, I guess I’ll have to tell you what I’m saying…Amy, I LOVE you. That sure makes me smile to say that! I LOVE you!

So that was the first time he told me loved me…in a letter and then when I looked up at him after reading the letter he told me face to face! SO needless to say, I honestly thought he might propose that night at dinner….

We got really dressed up…had a great dinner….and then drove back to my apartment. Once I realized he wasn’t going to propose I got really upset…I don’t know what came over me…I REALLY thought he was going to propose…SO I told him…CAN YOU BELIVE THAT? I told him….I don’t remember a lot but I remember we had this hour long argument and conversation sitting in the car on the side of the road in front of my apartment about my expectations….

So anyway…a beautiful evening turned sour all because I expected him to do something that he didn’t know about….he had given me no reason to believe it would be that night I just thought it would be….SINCE then I like low key valentines day dates…..Our first vday being married we went to Chick-fila[my choice]. This year, all I want is to go to see the movie Valentines Day….We are cooking dinner tonight at home for our vday dinner and I’m so excited about it:)

How about you? What kind of valentine day dates do you like?

a ton of other blogs....

So as I mentioned before, last week I attended the Blissdom conference! It was amazing and I learned so much! I got the chance to meet tons of bloggers and I wanted to share a few of their sites with you. These bloggers blog about being a mom, organizing, healthy living, scrapbooking, etc. I couldn’t share the blog for every person I met, so I narrowed it down this way. The first set of blogs are blogger friends who I got the chance to sit with at the conference. The second set of blogs are bloggers who spoke at breakout sessions that I attended. These are some great blogs!
Go check them out!

Blogger friends who I sat with:
Red Bean Dream- http://www.redbeandream.com/
Beach Brights- http://www.beachbrights.blogspot.com/
Live Fearlesslee- http://www.livefearlesslee.com/
The Violet Fig- http://www.thevioletfig.blogspot.com/
Lynns Kitchen Adventures- http://www.lynnskitchenadventures.com/
Completely Organizing Solutions- http://www.completeorganizingsolutions.com/
The Simple Scrapper- http://www.simplescrapper.com/
The Frugal Find- http://www.thefrugalfind.com/
The Adventures of Motherhood- http://www.theadventureofmotherhood.com/
Rachel Boldman- http://www.rachelboldman.blogspot.com/
Savor the Thyme- http://www.savorthethyme.blogspot.com/
The Broccoli Cupcake- http://www.broccolicupcake.com/
The Plus Size Mommy- http://www.theplussizemommy.com/
Staci Brown- http://www.stacijbrown.blogspot.com/
Oh Amanda-http://www.ohamanda.com/

Featured bloggers who spoke at breakout sessions I attended:
Moma Advice- http://www.momadvice.com/
Adventures in Babywearing- http://www.adventuresinbabywearing.com/
The Mommy Blog- http://themommyblog.net/
Tip Junkie- http://www.tipjunkie.com/
5 minutes for mom- http://www.5minutesformom.com/
The Blog Frog- http://theblogfrog.com/
Girfriendology- http://girlfriendology.com/
Today's Mama- http://www.todaysmama.com/
Manic Mommies- http://www.manicmommies.com/
Mamlogues- http://www.mamalogues.com/
The Inspired Room- http://theinspiredroom.net/
Scribbit- http://scribbit.blogspot.com/
The Simple Mom- http://simplemom.net/
Mom Generations-http://www.momgenerations.com/
A Soutern Fairytale- http://asouthernfairytale.com/
Green and Clean Mom- http://greenandcleanmom.org/
Beauty and Bedlam-http://beautyandbedlam.com/
The Nesting Place- http://nestingplacenc.blogspot.com/
Redneck Momma-http://redneckmomma.com/

If you have any blogs you would like to share with me, leave a comment:)

some healthy treats....

I’m going to share 2 delicious and HEALTHY recipes with you….
Manpineberry smoothy

Strawberries

+

Pineapple

+

Mango

+

Peaches

+

a little orange juice

+

Ice

= Fantastic healthy smoothie! And a sweet treat!

This next recipe...I can’t remember the name of it…So I’m going to call it Mango delight! Let me tell you a little about this recipe….Back when I was in 8th grade, we had an Acteens sleepover at church and my cousin Pam decided we would make foods from other countries. This recipe was from another country although I can’t remember which one..It’s only been 13 years since then…I’m doing pretty good just to remember the recipe!

This is the perfect sweet BUT healthy snack during the day!

2 mangos
1 small tub of fat free cool whip
1 teaspoon of vanilla flavoring
Thinly sliced almonds
Orange juice

Put a little orange juice in a blender[just enough to cover the blade]. Cut up the mango, put it along with the vanilla flavoring in the blender and mix together. If it’s too thick add a little more orange juice, BUT you don’t want it soupy like liquid…It needs to be a little thick. Mix all of that with the cool whip, add the sliced almonds on top….AND you have a great dip! I personally like to eat it with celery. It’s the perfect healthy BUT sweet snack during the day…and low calorie:)

Do you have healthy snacks that you love? If so, I’d love to hear them!

Me, Kaz, and the capital of country music.....

Last Thursday, Kaz and I went to Nashville, TN! I attended the Blissdom conference and Kaz went along to  have a little RNR. Here’s a little about our trip…..

Thursday we drove….and we drove…..and we drove! It was a 9 hour drive but it wasn’t bad…Well, I say it wasn’t bad but I didn’t drive:) We got to Nashville and the weather was awful! It’s rained the whole time we were there. We didn’t do a lot Thursday night. We went to eat at Outback and then just watched a movie in the room! Now Kaz and I have been eating pretty healthy, so to go to Outback and have a blooming onion we felt very guilty afterwards so Friday morning we got up at 6 and ran 3 miles. He really pushed me…by the end we were both running at a 9 minute mile pace…That only lasted about 2 minutes for me:(

Friday was the conference![I’m going to talk more about it tomorrow!] The conference was at the Opryland Hotel. Have you ever been? It’s amazing! It’s huge and honestly you could spend an entire day just doing stuff inside! When I first walked in I was amazed because they have a rain forest inside[well really 3 or 4]. Below are a few pictures from inside the hotel…

[these pictures were taken with my phone]

One thing, that I LOVE is meeting celebrities! While I was there, I got to meet George Duran. He actually cooked for all the ladies:) The meal was delicious! I’m going to try to find the recipe online and share it with you!

Friday night, was the Harry Connick Jr performance at the Fuse nightclub inside the Opryland Hotel. Let me just say…I HAVE the best husband in the world. The conference was all women BUT I saw a lot of their husbands with them, so I honestly thought they would come to the concert that night…Well, I was wrong. Kaz was 1 out of the 3 men…OUT OF 300 women....I felt so bad but he didn’t mind at all! We didn’t stay very long….I like Harry Connick Jr but he said somethings that made me very disappointed in him, so we left.

BUT we then went to see Dear John! Now, I loved this movie but then again I’ve never read the book so I don’t know how the full story goes. I also liked the fact that it was mostly filmed in Charleston because we recongnized a lot of places!

Saturday, was the conference again. I finished up around 5 and Kaz and I headed downtown Nashville to find a place to eat. The whole time we were there I kept telling Kaz we needed to go to the Wildhorse Saloon. I remember growing up and seeing it on CMT, and used to always want to be there line dancing. We got there right when they opened and it was really neat because they taught us how to country line dance. There were people there of all ages…85 years old right down to us! We only danced 1 time, but it was fun to watch the other people. The food was great and we got to listen to a up and comming band from Myrtle Beach-Brother Trouble…If you’re ever in Nashville you should definitely check it out! It was a lot of fun!

Hey Carissa-I wore my yellow sweater:)

Sunday, our trip was over:( BUT we had a great time together…and I can’t wait until we visit Nashville again!

Hurt.....

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about hurt…We all have it….everyone’s is different….but SO real. I’ve been thinking about it lately because we have so many friends in different stages of life that are hurting…..

Right now, Kaz and I are hurting…We’ve been struggling through this journey of infertility for over 2 years now. It hasn’t been a fun or easy road, and at times I hurt so much I didn’t think it would ever end. I’ve cried more these last 2 years than I probably have in my whole life…BUT I’m at a place where I see our trial as a blessing. It’s nothing that I’ve done, it’s what the Lord has done in me[more on this in another post].

I have a friend who’s sister lost her husband in a car wreck Thursday night. When my mom told me, I couldn’t believe it….I couldn’t believe what this girl must be going through…What she has to tell their 4 year old daughter….Then I started thinking about my mom. She also at a very early age lost her first husband. It’s something we’ve really never talked about a lot, but I can imagine that at that point in her life she didn’t see how she could move on….She was probably mad, bitter, hurt, sad…just to name a few. She probably felt all alone and her heart at times was probably so heavy she felt like she was going to break at any moment….BUT the Lord healed her hurt[in time]. She married my dad, and then they had me. You see at the time she was hurting, she couldn’t see out of that…She couldn’t see the bigger picture…BUT the Lord had a perfect plan….Just like He has with ME and YOU…..

Without hurt, we would never grow….It’s not easy to go through…..and I wouldn’t wish tragedy on anyone….BUT right now I’m thankful for my hurt because the Lord is showing me so much and it has truly become a blessing in my life….I’m WAITING for HIM to show US the bigger picture….AND when HE DOES, we will rejoice!

Psalm 30:5
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning

If you are hurting right now, please email me. I would love to pray for you and help carry your burden.

Makeup....and a dilemma....

I don’t know about you but makeup stresses me out…

All throughout high school I was a Clinique girl….Everything was Clinique BUT then for some strange reason the foundation started breaking my face out so I went back and forth between various name brands, none of which I liked.

In college, I went to South Africa one summer and my parents came over to visit. One of the girls on the trip[we happened to be roommates] used Estee Lauder. I tried it one day and fell in love with these 2 products, so I asked my mom to buy them and bring them over.

Estée Lauder Signature[Silky Powder Blush]
This may sound crazy BUT I promise I’m telling truth….This blush was the best $40 I may have ever spent[well really my mom]…It LASTED me 3 years. SERIOUSLY! I just finished using it…as you can tell from the below picture! AND I used it everyday….sometimes twice a day!

Double Wear[stay in place foundation]
I LOVE this foundation because it last so long throughout the day!

So these are my favorite makeup products, BUT my dilemma is always[when I run out] whether or not to pay that much money for them or buy cheaper, inexpensive products….As you can see with the blush I ran out…and I ended up buying cheaper products from Wal-Mart because I wanted to save money….What do you do? Do you buy the same products regardless of the cost, or buy an okay product that is a little cheaper? It ALWAYS stresses me OUT!

Take a look at Kelly’s Korner [Show us your life Friday today] to see what hundreds of other women use in makeup, and other products…