Tuesday, September 27, 2011

growing up...

One night last week, Kaz and I were sitting in the living room watching TV after putting Annie Rice down for the night. Kaz briefly showed me his phone and said I’m sending you this email...you will cry. I had no idea what the email was about but I can honestly say that it wasn’t what I expected! It not only brought me  to tears but then I proceeded to have a mini meltdown and told him that I didn’t want Annie Rice to grow up...I went in her room, woke her up, and cuddled with her for a little longer before putting her back to bed. It was a very sweet moment and one that I have thought about everyday sense...
You’re probably wondering what the email said....Well, it was a link to a blog From Dates to Diapers. The title of the post was 50 rules for dads of daughters...I read through every rule carefully. Kaz asked me if I was crying because of Annie or my dad. I said both. Kaz is already such an amazing dad to Annie Rice, and I have never expected anything less than greatness and gentleness from him...but as I read each post I thought about my dad and growing up. 
I’m an only child and have always been really close to my parents. Growing up, I didn’t do a lot of things that most kids do to get in trouble because I never wanted to hear them say they were disappointed in me. That scared me more than anything because I never wanted to see them hurt. I remember a month before our wedding how much I struggled with “leaving thy mother and father” because the concept sounds easy and I wanted nothing other than to marry Kaz, but it hurt me so much to know that even though our wedding day would be a happy day and a proud day for them, I also knew it would be bittersweet because I was no longer there little girl and that really hurt me because it hurt them. I don’t know if that makes any sense whatsoever, but it was a hard time for me. 
As I read through this list it made me think of so many memories growing up....So many things I am thankful for, and how proud I am of my parents and thankful for the way they raised me....Like my dad having the hard talk with me about saving money and encouraging me to open a savings account. It wasn’t an easy or fun lesson but I’m so thankful. Or that one time I really wanted this purple 2 piece bathing suit and my mom said you will have to show your dad...Of course he said no. Now I understand why. Or the time I called hysterically crying from Florida because I hit a concrete curb in a parking lot and my car was stuck...My dad couldn’t do one thing all the way in SC but somehow just calling made it better. Or the time I called from college after breaking up with my boyfriend and I couldn’t drive home because I was crying so hard...My parents jumped in the car to come get me without thinking. Or the time that I wet my pants from laughing so hard because my dad chased me around the pool with a dead frog...Did I mention I was 18? I thought about how him and my mom always tried to hold my hand growing up and then when I got too old how I would pull away in public. And the time they turned around from there anniversary trip to the beach just to come back and get me because I so badly wanted to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe that just opened up...Instead of it being a weekend of just them, they came back to get me so I could spend the weekend with them too. I’m so thankful for my parents and all the wonderful memories that I have...I’m thankful now for Annie Rice and want to remember everyday to not take her for granted...because unfortunately #49 and #50 will happen one day and my heart needs a lot of preparing for the day she goes to college and is no longer a little girl. I love her with all my heart, and feel so blessed to be her mom. For now, I will cherish every minute, hug, giggle, snort, poopy diaper, bath time splash....because as Darius Rucker puts it, “it won’t be like this for long...” and I’m just not ready for that. 

5 comments:

mom said...

My precious child you will always be my little girl but yes you did grow up and now you are a mom and you know the feelings that a mom has for her child. I have always been so very proud of you and I still am. I thank God every day for you and so thankful that you are my daughter. I love you !!!

Jemsmom said...

I am an only child and I have an only child and I TOTALLY understand exactly what you are saying. I am always saying that I just don't want our Jemma to grow up and my husband now says, "just think of all the exciting things to come!" I don't want to. I want to snuggle and love and have sweetness. She will be six this Christmas and I just can't believe it. She has lost two teeth and I am the one who went in the bathroom and sobbed after cheering and being happy for her. I try to cherish every single moment. We made a vow on the day she was born that we would never say, "I can't wait for her to _______" and we haven't. I think that mentality forced us to look at each moment as a gift and not always be waiting for the next milestone. It does go by so fast, but just enjoy!

talbed said...

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talbed said...

Dad Said, God blessed us with you and i am so thankful. I enjoyed every second of raising you. God has truly given me the pleasures of my heart and now i have been blessed again with sweet little Annie Rice. I encourage you to enjoy every second of her life. Love you Pop

Donnamo said...

You do have some awesome parents and the lessons they taught you and the example they set will guide you in raising Annie Rice.

I had an awesome set of parents too and when I think of it....I was Annice RIce (adopted and blessed.)