Sunday, January 09, 2011

a small reminder of HIS love...

Last week, I started off having a really bad day...Don't get me wrong...My circumstances were perfect but Satan was just really beating me up with the adoption. Through a series of events, he kept reminding me of all those awful feelings and emotions that I haven't struggled with in a long time. I recognized that and was trying so hard to cling to the truth but he was winning...I called Kaz crying and started questioning why we didn't have a baby yet... I KNEW the truth and was TRYING SO HARD to believe it BUT EVERYTHING IN ME WANTED TO QUESTION, QUESTION, QUESTION.....I told Kaz I was going for a run. He said it's a beautiful day, you'll love it!
I walked outside to see a beautiful sunny morning. I started the run and struggled the whole way both mentally and physically. My head wasn't there, so it was a hard run. My thoughts were everywhere along with my emotions.
Tears continued to roll down my face as I ran, but about halfway through I felt it starting to rain. I looked up and the sky was completely black behind me and clouds were forming all over the sky. It was such an incredible experience because the rain was a blessing from the Lord. I felt like the rain was symbolic in that the Lord acknowledged my hurt and tears. The sun, yet very small, at times was still there through all the dark clouds and rain. The whole run I continued to think of HIS love for me and every so often I found myself searching the sky over to find the sun. At times I couldn't and other times there were just rays of sun shinning through the clouds. 
What an incredible reminder of HIS PRESENCE AND LOVE.  At times His plan is so evident and other times it's hidden behind the clouds BUT HE IS ALWAYS there whether I can see Him or not.

Psalm 36:7
How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
   People take refuge in the shadow of your wings


Ashley said...

What a great picture! Keep your head up and keep trusting HIS plan for your family! Praying your wait isn't much longer.

Jennifer said...

So true, and what a beautiful reminder.

Miranda said...

VERY encouraging post girly! Just know that you are in my prayers :-)

Taren said...

What a beautiful glimpse into the Lord's deep love for us. I love reading your posts. Thank you for sharing!