Monday, November 15, 2010

a lot of crying…

This past weekend was very hard for me…Well really just Saturday night and Sunday. On Saturday, I had a marathon day of pictures for families in Hartsville. At the end of the day, I got to have dinner with my sweet friends Liz and Todd, my parents, and little Charlie.

Little Charlie always gets me! He’s the most adorable little boy AND one that has been prayed for so many times. Kaz and I met Liz and Todd at the last meeting we had with Bethany. They sat by us and after the meeting we started talking, and became good friends. It was clear from the beginning the Lord had big things in store for both of us. I can’t explain the way he knit our hearts together. They are like family to us. Kaz and I prayed that Todd and Liz would get a baby before us. We truly wanted that for them. While it was hard when I got the phone call from Liz that they indeed had a baby, I was still so happy for them AND had been praying for that.

Going back to Saturday night…We all had dinner at one of my FAVORITE restaraunts…Rancho Grande! The BEST mexican food in SC[or at least in my opinion]! Little Charlie was the star of the show! I loved playing with him, holding him, AND even more than that seeing my parents light up when they held him. As I started driving back to Charleston that night, I couldn’t help but cry out to the Lord. Tears rolled down my face for a good hour of the trip. There was nothing that I could do but pray. I’m at a point where I’m not mad. I’m not angry. Occasiaonally sad. BUT I’m HOPEFUL. I know without a doubt the Lord has a perfect plan. While I try and guess that plan everyday, when He is ready we will have a sweet baby. There is absolutely nothing that I can do right now but pray. I talked to Kaz about how I was feeling when I got home and He’s in the same place which is really neat for me to see. He wants to be a dad just as much as I want to be a mom. As I was telling him about the drive back, he began telling me about his time praying lately. He goes running every morning for about 30 min-1 hour. He doesn’t listen to any music while running[which just blows my mind]! Instead he prays. He has a list: Me, our baby, His dad, brother and wife, baby Matias, and my parents. Every morning he prays. He crys out to the Lord. That is so humbling to me.

Often times it feels like our prayers go unanswered BUT for me RIGHT NOW, it’s the ONLY WAY to get through. I KNOW my prayers are being heard. I KNOW they will be answered ONE DAY. AND I KNOW I’m NOT the only one praying for this baby to come.

Even though it was hard for me Saturday night, Little Charlie is a miracle. He’s a blessing. He’s an encouragmenet and a testimony. He is AN ANSWERED PRAYER.

James 5:17-18
17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

7 comments:

Christy said...

what a wonderful idea to pray while running. I wish you the best in your journey towards a baby!

Melissa's Thoughts said...

Our service Sunday was on prayer. Pray without ceasing. God doesn't say to pray once, but pray without ceasing. We are to bombard the throne of grace with prayers. I am in agreement with you in this prayer of your my sister. I KNOW God will answer your prayers.

Life Happens said...

There are so many people praying for you guys. Keep the faith. We may not understand the Lord's timing, but He knows what's best for us.

It has taken us 8 years to get to where we are currently. Eight years of crying out to the Lord and in His time, He has blessed us.

Praying for you both!

Anne said...

Praying for you friend.

Timothy and Holly said...

Amy, I totally understand how you are feeling. I know how painful thoughts can get. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. I can totally see how God is using our adoptions to help us grow in our faith and understanding of His plan and His timing.

Stephanie said...

Though we have very different stories, I completely understand how you are feeling! It ca be SO HARD to wait on the Lord and trust that his way is right....

Katie said...

Oh Amy, you brought tears to my eyes. I hope you get your baby soon!