Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Choosing to fight….

We had such a good weekend away! It was so nice to get away, relax, and spend time with great friends…BUT there was also a lot of time to think.

One of the best things about our trip was the hot tub right outside of our room that overlooked the most beautiful countryside I’ve ever seen. The view was gorgeous [minus the power lines:)]

We got in the hot tub at least 4 times each day, but my favorite time was early in the morning. Kaz and I would get up and go out there and just talk. Sunday morning was very hard for me….Kaz decided to go on a run while I got in the hot tub. As I looked out, I saw a picture that was all too familiar.

I didn’t actually take a picture of this but try to imagine it with me….

There’s a big field, red barn, and mountains in the distance. In that field there were 3 sets of feeding stations. Around each station there were cows, horses and calf’s. Each station had at least 3 animals feeding. But off in the distance maybe 10-15 feet away was this donkey who stood by the whole time while the other animals ate. I literally watched these animals for about an hour and during that whole time the donkey stood by himself. When the other animals were through feeding and had made their way to another part of the field, the donkey finally made his way over to one of the feeding stations to eat.

As I watched that, I got sad. Sad not only for the donkey, but for myself because that’s the way I’ve felt lately. I’ve felt like that donkey standing off to the distance watching all of my friends lives change and move forward while I’m waiting….

People ask all the time, how’s the adoption going? Our reply is, we’re just waiting. But what no one really ever ask is, “How are you doing with the adoption?” If I’m honest, I’m fighting and holding back tears. I’m tired of waiting. I think every day that this could be the day we get the phone call. I know that something so big is in store for us, but satan is trying so hard to do everything he can to tear us apart.

When I told Kaz about the donkey, he made the comment, “that’s not a true picture, because I’m the other donkey right there beside you.” Boy, He knows how to melt my heart. Regardless of how I feel, how much longer we have to wait, and where our friends lives go, the Lord cares about me and that 1 donkey just as much as the others. SO today, I’m choosing to fight for truth…I’m hoping that today will be the day….BUT if it isn’t, then there’s tomorrow. BUT I’m choosing to fight. I’m choosing truth. I’m choosing Hope. I’m choosing Joy.

Romans 5:5 - And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

4 comments:

Brittany said...

awww, that brought tears to my eyes. I am praying for you guys and I know your time will come soon!

Jennifer said...

This post made me cry. You are such a beautiful person.

Heather said...

Goodness, that brought tears! I know HE always has such good things in store, even better than what can be imagined. Hang in there!!!

Ashley said...

Great post! Seems like we do the most growing during the waiting.