a little country music....

I am slightly a little crazy right now for this song….and this new artist!

Easton Crobin…Roll with it

He is actually going to be at the local fair coming up but I have a wedding:( I have been really bummed about this one…

Anyway, I love this song…

got my old guitar and some fishin poles
So baby fill that cooler full of something cold
Don't ask just pack and we'll hit the road runnin
honey what do you say

I got just enough money and just enough gas
So pick a place on the map we can get to fast
Where the white sandy beach meets water like glass
And if the tide carries us away

Baby we'll roll with it
Won't think about it too much
Baby let's just go with it
And get out of this ordinary everyday rut

And we get swept away by one of those perfect days
When the sun is sinking low at dusk
And wind up a little deeper in love
Baby lets roll with it

We get so caught up in catching up
Trying to pay the rent trying to make a buck
That don't leave much time for time for us
And aint life too short for that

So open up that bag of pig skins you bought
At the Exxon station the last time we stopped
And you kick back baby and dance in your socks
On the windshield to some radio rock

And we'll roll with it
Won't think about it too much
Baby let's just go with it
And get out of this ordinary everyday rut

And we get swept away by one of those perfect days
When the sun is sinking low at dusk
And wind up a little deeper in love
Baby lets roll with it

And it won't be no thing if it starts to rain
And we have to wait it out in the truck
We might wind up a little deeper in love
So baby lets roll with it

being honest....

I don’t really know where to even begin other than I’m just ready to be a mom….I’ve tried lately not to talk about where I’m at personally because I know the MAJORITY of the time I get my feelings mixed up with the truth….I tend to believe my feelings as the truth when in reality they are 2 completely different things. Knowing that, I still do it ALL the time!

I was able to have lunch on Saturday with one of my dear friends. Kaz always ask after I spend time with someone how it went and what we talked about..like most husbands do I’m sure! My response was it was refreshing. I’m not sure that it was for my friend because I really unloaded a lot, but it was so good for me too because I haven’t really done that with anyone but Kaz. I haven’t talked a lot about how I’m really doing because the response is always just keep trusting, or there is a perfect timing…AND WHILE I know that, it’s still sometimes nice to be able to talk and the other person listen and respond with care and concern other than the right answer.

You see lately, while I’ve been doing ok I have really been struggling with some big things…

-Timing…It scares me to death. I can’t even explain how ready I am in my heart. As the Holiday season draws near, it scares me that we may not have a baby. When the thought crosses my mind I can’t even ponder it because it makes me so sad.

-Selfishness….We have met several friends who are also adopting through Bethany. As much as I hate to say it, I’m terrified of finding out they got picked…On one hand, we all want the same thing and I know that I’m not alone in probably feeling this way. We want everyone to get a baby, but my selfishness wants it more for me than them…or should I say us to get picked before them..As harsh as it sounds, we’ve all felt this way about success or stuff of friends. I’m being real…

-Change…While I’m so ready for a baby and for our life to change, it scares me because I can’t comprehend how it will be. I’m a planner and that’s one of the biggest challenges because I can’t plan anything about this. I can’t even imagine what it will be like…
The nursery is ready, we have all the necessities, but it’s still hard to believe that we will have a child. It feels so much like we’ve gone through all the motions but because this process is so different we can’t see the ending clearly….

BUT WHILE I’ve been struggling with all of these things…one thing has stayed constant…

Thankfulness…I’m so thankful that the Lord chose us to adopt. Just the process has changed our whole life and outlook on life. We feel so blessed that we were called to this..SO WHILE I struggle with all these lies, I also remind myself that the Lord does have a perfect plan. He does have more than I can ever imagine or expect waiting for us….We will be parents one day….the hard part is waiting and reminding myself of this every single day….

run, run, run....

I’m starting to run again TODAY! I actually have a written plan and I’m going to train “like” I’m going to be running a half marathon. I don’t have one scheduled but it really bothers me that back in Feb I was up to 8-9 miles and then just stopped because of wedding season. SO Today, I’m starting again!

I found a plan that fits my starting level and goes for 12 weeks from Hal Hidgon. If you’ve ever wanted to run or train for a race you should check out this website because there are so many great tools!

Basically this week for me looks like this:
Today: 2 miles
Wed: cross train
Thursday: 2 miles
Friday: rest
Sat: cross train
Sun: 3 miles

Now, this is not exactly what Hal Hidgon’s plan said, but I changed it to fit where I’m at right now!

It’s just been so hard for me to get motivated. My biggest challenge is stopping by the gym and if I make it home I won’t run outside because I will either want to relax or I have too much other stuff to do. BUT I’m going to make a conscience effort to fight that and run! PLUS, I really want to have lost those additional 10 pounds that I’ve been holding on too by Thanksgiving!

What are some ways you stay motivated to work out?

little charlie....

This past weekend Kaz and I went to Columbia. He and 3 other guys ran in the mud run. 

We had a lot of fun catching up with friends. I got to spend time with friends I haven’t seen in a long time because of my busy schedule...

We also had the honor of being apart of little Charlie’s dedication service on Sunday. You may not remember SO, we met Liz and Todd through Bethany. We sat beside each other at one of the meetings and started a friendship. It seems like we have known them forever, and the Lord has really knit our hearts together. 

They were blessed with little Charlie about 2 months ago. We were so excited to be apart of this service and couldn’t be happier for Todd and Liz. 

This is a picture I took of charlie awhile back...

It gave me so much encouragement and hope to know that one day[hopefully soon] that will be me and Kaz....

the nursery....

The bumper isn't quite finished yet...BUT here's everything else!

I bought this swing for $30, ordered a new cover for $30. Total spent $60. Price in the store $120-$150!

Wall and chair-rail!

easy photo craft....

So I made this easy craft for the nursery. It cost less than $10 and I really like it!

Kaz made 3 rounds circle for me out of wood. He sanded them to make them smooth. I painted them orange [a color that we already had in our extra paint section in the garage].

I bought 3 photo magnets from Wal-Mart, and 2 different types of ribbon.

I stapled 2 pieces of ribbon to the back of the wood, tied them in a bow, and then glued the photo magnets to the front with Titebond Wood Glue.

I also put Fray Check on the ends of the ribbon. I let them dry and now they are ready to be hung in the nursery!

It was so simple! You could do this same project for any room and use any shape!

I PROMISE…PROMISE…PROMISE…that tomorrow you will see the unveiling of the nursery:) We are missing the bumper and the mattress but everything else is ready! I will take pictures tonight and post tomorrow so be sure to check back!

Crepe-a-licious!!

I LOVE crepes! I was first introducted to them in San Fransico a few years ago! They are so easy to make!

This is my favorite:
3 eggs
1 cup of flower
2 cup of milk

Mix everything together. Put oil in a frying pan and get the pan HOT! Pour a thin layer in the pan and let each side get a little brown!

THEN the BEST part….I cover mine in Nutella and diced strawberries! Add a little whip cream to the top and you have yourself a tasty breakfast or dessert:)

So good!!!

a FEW of my favorite things...

1. I can’t believe I’m actually writing this but yes, it’s true. I’m have bieber fever. I haven’t up until this past Sunday night…I was watching the VMA’s. I really only like 1 song and of all songs it’s the one he sang! I felt like a 13 year old girl watching in amusement. After that, I couldn’t get it out of my head so I downloaded the song to my iphone and have kept it on repeat all day while I work. Oh boy!

Here’s what got me hooked-You HAVE to watch it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt9bfYTLh3A

2. Who’s the Boss? I LOVE this show. I used to watch it growing up and now that it comes on everyday for like 4 hours I can’t help but watch as much as I can. Kaz thinks I’m crazy!
I actually saw Tony Danza before on my first trip to NYC! I waited in line outside of Planet Hollywood for 2 hours just to see what celebrity was inside.

3. I’m still hooked on these ice cream bars-Blue Bunny Strawberry Aspen Bars. I have one EVERY morning for breakfast! I don’t know what a normal breakfast is anymore. If you haven’t tried these, please go get a box! They are amazing!

4. Cotton Fields…They are gorgeous aren’t they? That was one of my favorite things about growing up in the country. I’ve decided that me, Kaz, and maybe Miley? are going to take some family pictures in a cotton field mid October! I can’t wait:)

5. Ralph Lauren Oxford Polo’s[for men and women]…Well really, these have always been my favorite shirts. I have one in every color and I wear them all winter with Sperry’s. Kaz has never really cared for them on him, BUT drum roll please….I got him hooked! We bought 2 this weekend for him and I couldn’t be more excited! I LOVE LOVE LOVE these shirts!

What are some of your favorite things?

Expectations and False Hope...

I haven’t written about adoption in awhile…BUT honestly a lot has happened! About a month ago, I was having a really hard time. I just felt sad all the time and wondered where all the $ would come from, when the baby would come, etc. I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
Kaz, being the loving husband he is, sat me down and said that he really needed to share what he had been learning…He said that we needed to learn to be content where we are. It was one of those conversations where you know the other person is right, you’ve been thinking the same thing, but been running from it. I KNEW he was right…BUT how do I do that? How can I be content where we are? What does that mean?

Well I did good for about 2 weeks. Honestly, I really tried to live in the moment and be thankful for what we had and not look so forward to what’s next….BUT now I find myself ALMOST back in that place but in a different way.

One of the things I’ve struggle most with is the timing. Through October is really busy for me, but November-January I slow down. I did that on purpose because of Christmas pictures and I want to enjoy the Holiday season to it’s fullest and not be SO busy the whole time. BUT since we’ve been approved I’ve never been able to get those months out of my head. I’ve continually thought it would happen then. NOT because I know that, BUT because what better timing…LIKE I KNOW THE PERFECT TIMING?

But lately, SO MANY people have called us, texted, or randomly come up to us and said I really feel like it’s going to be soon. I just have the feeling. Or I had such a peace about your adoption and I think you will be getting a phone call very soon.

GREAT! THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR…or is it? SO all of this talk has gotten my hopes up and now it seems like every day I’m hopeful for a phone call. Everytime Kaz calls me back to back during the day, or more than normal I think he’s going to tell me Bethany called. I keep thinking it’s going to happen sooner than I think. BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN’T? WHAT IF IT DOESN’T EVEN HAPPEN IN THE MONTHS I HOPED FOR?

I’m having a hard time fighting this…..I’ve had a mixture of responses. Some people have said you have to be content, don’t think about it. How can I not? Other people have said listen to your gut. Have faith. It could really be soon.

Where does that leave me? Are my expectations too high? Is my hope in what I think?

Everything thus far has fallen into place. We have all of our finances [MINUES part of our lawyer fees around $1400]. Which is a huge blessing!!! So if we got the call tomorrow our funds would be there. We would have everything we needed until the final court hearing. So now that everythings in order, I’m kind of lost in what to do ….How to live each day…Does being content mean I can’t hope or look to the future? It’s a hard thing especially in the season I’m in where it’s been all planning and prepwork up until now….

miscellany monday...

1. Do you remember how I told you that I had planned a "very productive" Saturday? How I was going to decorate for fall?

WELL, my productive Saturday looked something like this:

I stayed in my pjs until around 415pm. I played on the computer, watched 2 movies and then finally decided AT 5PM to get dressd for dinner at Moes with our friends Kelly and Carissa.

Needless to say, the house still isn't clean and there aren't any fall decorations up! BUT I sure enjoyed my Saturday!!!

2. I bought myself a Christmas present on Saturday from my parents. I tend to do that a lot....BUT I love my NEW rain jacket! I've been wanting one for awhile because my current Marmouth rain jacket is just about worn out. So here's my new jacket[The color isn't great b/c of the lighting]...It's Hot pink and Grey!

3. I've REALLY REALLY REALLY been wanting to go back to California. Our anniversary is October 29th and every year we take our Big vacation at our anniversary. The last 2 years we've gone to California. Because of the adoption and the uncertainty of our days, we decided not to take a big trip. Really because we didn't want to spend the $ and then if we do get a baby loose it. So we've decided instead to go to the mountains BUT I AM TERRIBLY MISSING California. I WANT to go SO bad. I think about it almost every day.....

Last year, Kaz and I went to Hollywood and Laguna Beach. Oh Laguna Beach....I miss you

4. Speaking of California and fall....I've never been to a pumpkin patch before last year in Hollywood. It was the 1 thing I wanted to do. So we went to Mr. Bones. Partly because I really wanted to go and take a picture of all the pumpkins to display this year for fall decorations, AND because ALL the celebrities go there every October! I always see their pictures in the gossip magazines and I was hoping to see one:)

5. 90210 starts back tonight!!!! I'm SO excited!

6. I started hard core working out again yesterday and I'm hoping to loose 10 more pounds...Me and my friend Bythe ran sprints yesterday and let me tell you-It almost killed me! If you really want to see how out of shape you are RUN SPRINTS!

7. CAN YOU TELL that I LOVE FALL, CELEBRITIES, and CALIFORNIA? Have I talked about them enough in this post?

Have a GREAT Monday!!!

photo books and trips....

I've started something new when going on trips...I LOVE pictures...That's nothing new! BUT, after I take personal pictures I don't really do anything with them except store them on my computer. I've gotten really bad about printing them off unless I want an enlargement to hang somewhere in the house. So I started making photo books for all of our trips and I'm doing a yearly one of everything else! I've actually really enjoyed doing this and it's a way that I relax. I've mentioned before that when going on trips I like to take non-professional pictures. I know that sounds weird...but I do this to feel normal and to also know that when I return home theres not work involved in going through all the pictures and editing them. I know, I'm not like most BUT that's okay! So the last 2 trips I've been on I've created books and had them ordered to remember the trip and to display on a coffee table or bookshelf at my house so other people can look at them! I usually order all of my prints and photo books[for personal use] from Snapfish or I create the photo book from Iphoto on my mac. I LOVE both companies!

So without further a-due...Here's my photo book from our Labor Day Trip to Dillard, GA

Cover

Inside flap

Page 1

Page 1 & 2

Page 2 & 3

Page 3 & 4

Page 5 & 6

Page 7 & 8

Page 9 & 10

Page 11 & 12

Pages 13 & 14

Pages 15 & 16

Pages 17 & 18

Pages 19 & 20

Pages 21 & 22

Pages 23 & 24

Pages 25 & 26

Pages 27 & 28

Pages 29 & 30

Pages 31 & 32

last page

back inside flap

back

What are ways that you use/display your photos from trips?