Friday, April 22, 2011

a BIG change in plans...

A LOT has happened in the last week...I've felt like I've been in a tornado and couldn't get out! Things have been absolutely CRAZY! Besides being EXTREMELY busy with work, getting the worst cold I've ever had, and having a million things to do...added to the list was Colorado Springs for a week! Let me explain...

You may remember this post last Tuesday when Kaz came home from traveling...We "thought" it would be the end of his travels for awhile. On Wednesday, he called me and said he was coming home to "talk" to me mid morning during the work day. I knew then something was up! He basically told me that he had to come out to Colorado Springs to work for 4-6 weeks and he had to leave on Sunday! I cried more on Wednesday than I have in a really LONG time...I had very mixed feelings. 
I felt very upset and heart broken because we had been praying so hard for the adoption to happen by Easter. We felt the Lord was calling us to pray this prayer and I really believed it would happen. After I found out he would be gone for so long, I struggled with what to pray...I knew that if the adoption still happened I would be SO EXCITED...I knew it STILL COULD HAPPEN...I knew I could handle doing it by myself with family and friends...BUT I simply didn't want it to happen WITHOUT Kaz there. We've been through this whole journey together and as happy as I would be to get the phone call that we had a baby, I would never want Kaz NOT to be apart of it. So I felt very upset..heartbroken...and I had no idea what or how to pray anymore. BECAUSE FOR SO LONG, I really believed and prayed we would have a baby in our arms by Easter if the Lord chose to answer that prayer...I was also very excited. I knew the opportunity would be really good for Kaz. His company graciously offered to fly me out to be with him for a little while...and it was a place that we have never seen AND TALKED about visiting often. Last Wednesday, was a rough day. I had an internal conflict of emotions BUT on Thursday morning when I woke up, I had such a peace about the whole situation. I felt that things were as they should be and even though I couldn't see what's ahead, I was okay with this new development. 
Looking back, I'm so thankful that Kaz and I prayed our bold prayer. I can't explain how much I have grown in my walk with the Lord this last month...more than that, how much deeper my prayer life has become. NOT just for our baby, BUT in ALL things. It's been amazing. SO, we WILL continue praying EVERYDAY for our baby. I'm not sad at all right now. I'm THANKFUL for where the Lord has us. He has blessed us more than I could ever say...
SO THAT leaves me with where I'm at right now....WELL, I'm in Colorado Springs! I flew in yesterday. I HONESTLY didn't know if I would make it. On Wednesday, my cold got a lot worse. I slept a total of 2 hours Wednesday night...My head felt like it was going to explode. I kept praying that the Lord would take it all away and help the 6 hour flight be bearable. Before I left Florence, my dad gave me 2 of his handkerchiefs. I have never used a handkerchief BUT let me just say..THEY SAVED MY LIFE yesterday! They were so much softer on my nose than toilet paper[I can't use tissues-long story]. Even though, I felt extremely gross and kind of like an old person using them, they saved the day! 
I made it to Colorado Springs around 330pm. 
[I look VERY rough in these pictures...but I was so happy to see my sweet Kaz.]

Kaz and I went to Panera Bread so I could get some soup and then I laid in the bed the rest of the afternoon. I hated doing that, because I wanted to explore SO BAD but I really needed to rest! I'm SO GLAD I did. I feel SO MUCH BETTER today! Still sick, but a TON BETTER! It's absolutely beautiful out here! Kaz has the whole weekend off so we have some BIG PLANS! We are going to Denver, Colorado tomorrow...pikes peak...Garden of the Gods....AND A LOT MORE! I will take lots of pictures:)
[my view] photo credit
Even though this Easter weekend didn't turn out as planned, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for this time with my wonderful husband. I'm thankful for the Lord's faithfulness and peace...
Thanks so much for all of your prayers...I know the Lord has BIG plans in store for us! 

Psalm 89:1
I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.


mom said...

Sometime the Lord does change our plans but even when he is late he is still on time. I just know he will answer your prayer in his timing. Hope you and Kaz have a wonderful time and I love you both.

Lexie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lexie said...

i've been following your blog for awhile now...not sure how i found it. Maybe from my mom ( Not sure.

But I wanted you to know that I'm praying for you. Last night right before I went to bed i checked your bog and didn't see any updates (i've seriously been EXPECTING a post about a baby...i've been praying with expectancy!) so I went to bed asking God to bring y'all a baby....and SOON. It may not be Easter...but I just know it WILL be soon.

blessing to y'all :) have a beautiful time in CO.