New pictures....

I’ve really been wanting to take some new pictures with the “we’re adopting” sign. The main reason being because I’ve lost about 35 pounds since the last one and I’m just tired of seeing me bigger:) So we were in DC this past weekend with family and I had my brother in law Peter take a few shots in the city. They are really special also because Kaz and I lived in DC our first year of marriage! So here are the new shots!

This was the first picture we took….No one told us until after the picture had been taken that the sign was upside down!

Adoption...

We are selling some prints that I have taken to help raise money for the adoption. They are $20 and are each an 8 by 10. If you or anyone you know may be interested please let me know. You can leave a comment or send me an email at amyprikazsky@gmail.com

                                                                          

                                                                          Central Park

St. Patrick's Cathedral

Charleston SC Harbor

Pineapple Fountain[Charleston, SC]

Palm Tree

Washington, DC

Washington Monument

Flags

The Citadel

My Thoughts lately….

Well, I made it back from NYC! The trip was so much fun! I promise to post some pictures as soon as I upload them from my camera!

The last week or two have been really hard. I don’t really know why other than the fact that I’m just ready to have a child. I’m ready for the next stage and I have no idea when that will happen. I’ve honestly felt really bad lately about where my thoughts are because that’s ALL I’ve been thinking about. Even in NYC, I couldn’t get past it. I had fun but the minute I started thinking about getting back to normal life I just got sad.

2 weeks ago, our closest friends who we met through Bethany got placed with a sweet little boy. That alone should give me encouragement and hope, but it hasn’t. I’ve continually thought about myself and how it’s still not happening for us. I don’t really like talking about it anymore with friends because I don’t want them to think that’s all I have to talk about it, but it’s our life right now. We’re in the waiting stage…..

I know the truth, but applying it is a different thing. I’ve heard so many encouraging stories but that’s just it-They are stories.-Not mine….

I keep thinking that the adoption will happen soon but I’m not guaranteed that. Every time Kaz calls me, I automatically think he’s gotten a phone call from Bethany. I honestly don’t know how to deal with myself right now….I wish I could be focused on something other than me. I’m tired of being sad because again it’s about me. I’m trying so hard to fight this but I fail miserably every day.

Have you ever felt this way before? What are ways that you actively apply the truth to your daily lives?

The BIG Apple....

WELL, I'm going to NYC! I'll be back next week! I've got my "celebrity goggles" on!

[photo credit: http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/usa/new-york/new-york-city/]

Is this crazy?

Is this crazy or is it just me? They make tons of running gear for dogs! Shoes, Camel Backs, etc. I saw this in runners world and just started laughing! What do you think?

                                                                [photo credit: Kent Pell]

The Land Between…..

I have so MUCH on my heart and mind right now….This past week was the hardest week I’ve had yet in the adoption process. Something happened on Friday that completely caught me off guard and to be honest made me so upset…..[I will tell you about this in another post]. At first, I was just plain mad, but then as time went on I was thankful that the Lord had me where I was at….You see, I don’t normally work on Thursdays and Fridays at my accounting job. My schedule is Monday-Wed, but last week I had to attend The Leadership Summit put on by Willow Creek Church.

Friday morning my mind was full of the things that I had to do over the weekend. I was traveling a lot so my mind was continuously racing. The first training on Friday was titled The Land Between….

Listening to the message, was different….I heard every word, knew that’s where I was, but couldn’t quite figure out how to apply it to my life. At the end of the message I got a phone call that completely changed my whole day, and required me to fight hard to walk by faith…..It wasn’t until later that day that I realized the Lord had a specific reason for having me in that seminar…

I wish I could put into words what I’ve learned so far about the land between, but the Author Jeff Manion of the book “The Land Between” says it best in this video…

http://www.blip.tv/file/3918214

I’m excited to read this book….I started last night and already was overwhelmed by emotions and truth. Kaz and I are in a hard place….and we don’t know how to move forward through it faithfully, but are praying that the Lord shows us as we study this book and His word….

What do you think about the Land Between? Have you ever been there? Are you there now?

Exodus 3:17 And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Egypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites--a land flowing with milk and honey

thank you......

First, I just wanted to start by saying thank you for all your encouraging words yesterday….I wish that I didn’t sound so down but one of the main reasons I started this blog was to be real and open with this whole process because I wanted to be an encouragement to other women battling the same thing. It’s funny how the Lord works…..The past few days have been so hard for me, and I’m still struggling but I’m thankful. I got an email this morning from a friend who I met through Bethany who is also adopting. We’ve emailed each other often just to vent and kind of let out how we are feeling. She too is frustrated and hurting….BUT as I read it I thought as I often have right now this is where the Lord is using me. Finding a ministry to fit in has been very difficult for me the last year or so because I’ve been so busy working 2 jobs…... At the lowest point of this journey, Kaz and I had no one that was going through this same experience….No one could relate, so after much thought, debate, and prayer I decided to start this blog….It’s been so encouraging hearing the stories of other women who are battling the same thing and even at times just to hear how I’ve been an encouragement. This morning when I read my friends email I was reminded once again that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be for a season. The LORD HAS GREAT PLANS FOR US, but He’s not done yet using us. And I’m okay with that….It’s not fun, It’s not easy, and It’s very emotional but faith is what we can’t see….

I’m still struggling today but I do have hope. This could change tomorrow-It’s an every day battle BUT I’m determined to fight.

I know there are so many of you who are hurting right now….What better way to fight through this than to be committed to praying for one another. I would love to put together a prayer list for those interested….What better way to feel encouraged than for women to pray for one another. Please email me if you are interested…..

Take heart dear friends….WE are not alone….

“But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

Struggling…..

Do you ever just get to a point where you just want to give up? Where you’ve had enough? That was me last night….

It’ has been a very emotional time the last few days….I am realizing that I am a very selfish and jealous person….Not that I didn’t know that but was hit even harder with that last night

Lately, reality has hit that most of our friends are on baby #2 and we don’t have baby #1 yet. For so long I did really well with where we are at, but have been in fog the last 2 weeks. I honestly never thought that I would have to go through those emotions again. I never thought I wouldn’t have baby #1 and a friend call and tell me they are pregnant with #2. But as I’m starting to realize it’s a reality everything in me wants everyone’s world to stop except ours……

Walking through the adoption process hasn’t been easy, and we knew that the day would come for other couples that we are friends with before us but I never thought of how I would feel. I want everyone to have their desire and their child, I just want mine before them. On Monday, a couple that we know adopting got the news they are getting a sweet little girl. When I found out, I just started crying. I was happy for them, but couldn’t help but think why them? Why can’t it be us? We want it just as badly….

I have a almost fully decorated nursery and when I walk in it, it feels so far away. I used to think we were so close…now everything in me fights to even believe that.

Kaz and I both have been battling so many battles lately. It just seems like life has been so hard for us the past few months. While I say that, I know I’m blessed with my health and so many other things so I feel bad for even complaining but it’s the truth. Yesterday afternoon, I became so bitter and jealous towards someone who seems like they have the perfect life and a precious happy baby that I broke down crying and couldn’t hardly handle it. I’m happy with our life…I could care less about how much stuff we have, I just want a baby….a family…..That’s the part that gets me. I’m jealous of friends who have that. So after seeing how ugly my heart was, I decided to sit down and journal and really spend some time in the word. I know it’s a battle for everyone but knowing the truth and believing it are 2 different things…As I started journaling, I heard Kaz crying in the other room. It’s been a month since his mom passed away and it breaks my heart to see him hurt. So last night, at that moment I gave up. I completely shut my self off to every possible feeling or emotion about where we are in our life…

It’s not right….and I hate that I did that…..and today I’m still struggling…..

How is it that I’m back at the same place I was 8 months ago…..feeling hopeless…..

I know I’m not alone in struggling in this way…..it just makes me sad that I’m in this place…..I’m praying today for belief and hope. What about you? Where are you on this temporary journey?

Here is the promise I’m trying to proclaim today….
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To everything there is a season, and
a time to every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, and
a time to die;
a time to plant, and
a time to pluck up
that which is planted;

A time to kill, and
a time to heal;
a time to break down, and
a time to build up;

A time to weep, and
a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and
a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and
a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and
a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and
a time to lose;
a time to keep, and
a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and
a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and
a time to speak;

A time to love, and
a time to hate;
a time of war; and
a time of peace.