This past Friday, we FINALLY had Annie Rice’s development assessment. We have really had a hard time getting this set up. Because of the adoption, Annie already being in the system before we got her, and us changing her name, it has been a long and complicated process. We didn’t really know what to think about Friday going into it...We had no idea what the meeting would look like. We didn’t find out until Wednesday that we had the meeting on Friday, and when we found out I was so excited because we’ve been waiting for so long! BUT that excitement changed to stress really quickly once we got to the meeting! It took about 3 hours and they did so many test! In the past, Annie’s development has not bothered me very much. There have been several occasions where hurtful comments were made and that’s really when it’s bothered me. Other than that, it honestly hasn’t because I have seen just how far she has come since we got her. We know very little about her previous living environment, but when we got her she literally couldn’t do anything but roll over. At 12 months old, she was at the level of a 4-5 month old. SHE HAS COME SO FAR! Her delays have been a blessing for Kaz and I because we have been able to see all of her first...BUT at the meeting on Friday, I felt plain awful for awhile because I felt like we were saying “No, she can’t do that yet” about 100 times! I FELT like we weren’t doing anything right! Did you catch that? I felt, meaning it wasn’t the actual truth, it was a FEELING. In reality, we can always do more and will always mess up, BUT we have done everything we can to LOVE and CARE and PROVIDE for this sweet little girl! We walked away from the meeting very encouraged that she could start therapy soon to start working on some of the delays, the main one being walking. It was very hard for me to believe truth during that meeting because I felt like Satan was just beating me up with lies and for awhile I was believing them! BUT I’m thankful for my husband who spoke so much truth to me after the meeting! When we finished, I really had to use the restroom and as I was leaving I saw JUST HOW MUCH STRESS I WAS UNDER DURING THAT MEETING! I NEVER NEVER NEVER SWEAT! Even when running, it’s very rare. It’s been that way my whole life. This is what I saw in the mirror! UNDER BOTH arms!
I know gross right? BUT it was a pretty surreal moment for me, because it reminded me of this simple truth. When I worry and fear, sweat like a crazy woman in life, no matter what the situation...I will never be in control BUT MY GOD is. He IS and HAS BEEN GOOD, He WILL continue walking us on this unfamiliar journey with Annie Rice, and no matter what others think or say WE ARE doing this very best we can and DOING EXACTLY WHAT HE CALLED US TOO! WE are BLESSED with the sweetest little girl in the whole world who was made and handpicked for our family.