i can't say thank you enough...

Over the last 3 years, I've been through many seasons...some good, some bad. I've been angry, happy, excited, sad, hurting, etc...but lately, I've been thankful. Kaz and I will never fully understand why we have been through some of the trials we have...and for a long time we wanted nothing more than to be out of them. We have been through seasons where we questioned everything...We've felt alone and supported at the same time. Throughout the whole time, our focus and desire has been to have a family. Through all of these seasons, the Lord has done amazing things in our life and I am truly thankful. Without going through what we have, we would never be where we are today. The Lord has opened so many doors for us...He has shown me a creative side that I never knew I had...He has blessed with photography and writing...He has made me a dreamer...He has worked so much in our marriage and brought us closer together...He has allowed us to go on some amazing trips...He has increased our faith and prayer life...He has shut some doors and given us some amazing new friends....He has satisfied our hearts with where we are....He has surrounded us with his love...

Our week in Colorado was amazing. Kaz and I honestly didn't talk about the adoption but maybe 1 time. While our desire to have a family has never left, the Lord has truly allowed us to find satisfaction in Him and each other. We have been content...I know the Lord is working in so many ways that I can't see right now...and I know that one day soon we will have a family...but today, I am content. I am blessed...and I honestly can't say thank you enough for all He has done and for all He HASN'T done...

Ephesians 5:20  always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of 
our Lord Jesus Christ.

a sad goodbye...

Today is my last day in Colorado Springs...I have a red-eye flight back tonight:( I'm very sad...BUT it has been a WONDERFUL trip! A much needed trip! The mountains have been absolutely spectacular. Pictures DO NOT do them justice...The greatness of them everytime I walk outside blows me away. Colorado is one place I could vacation to every year. 

Kaz and I have had a blast! We have really made the most of our time despite the REALLY REALLY REALLY cold weather! One of my favorite memories from the trip: Yesterday morning after breakfast, we came back up to our room only to find out that the battery in the door had died and we would have to wait 30 minutes before the maintenance man arrived to work. He would then have to drill the whole battery off the door and replace it. We haven't had our room cleaned since Sunday[I've just been doing it everyday] BUT we did run out of toilet paper so on our way up from breakfast we asked for a roll. We came back to our room, couldn't get in, so we sat outside waiting for the maintenance man with 2 rolls of toilet paper.....What did we do? What else? Played several games including toilet paper basketball, golf, etc..RIGHT in the middle of the hallway. I LOVED that we had fun during that not so "fun" time! 

I am sad to leave, but very thankful for the opportunity to have come AND be able to spend time with Kaz. 

our view from the hotel...

denver and the barr trail...

On Saturday, we decided to go to Denver. We got up early Saturday morning to make our way to Rocky Mountain National Park just a little past Denver. It was supposed to rain on Saturday and we really wanted to hike, so we decided to get an early start to at least get a little bit of hiking in before the rain started. We got maybe 25 miles from the Park and the snow was coming down so hard we decided to turn around. I was REALLY bummed about this because the park looked absolutely beautiful in pictures online and I LOVE doing stuff like that with Kaz. 

So we turned around, and went into the city of Denver for a bit. We walked around downtown, ate some good food, and shopped a little. Denver is a really cool town with SO MUCH to do! Unfortunately, the weather wasn't the greatest so we had limited options BUT I would love to go back again! Once we got back to Colorado Springs, we decided to go see a movie since the weather was so yukky!

On Sunday, we went to church AND THEN went to REI. Now, REI is Kaz's favorite store. I've come to really like outdoor-sy stuff BUT I was super excited this time because he told me he would buy me some NEW, WARMER gear to hike in that afternoon...I didn't exactly come prepared for the weather...When I left home, the weather was supposed to be mid 60s...It's instead been between 30-45 everyday and snowy! SO he bought me a new vest, undershirt, and socks! I was SUPER STOKED and couldn't wait to start hiking!

We hiked about 4 miles of the Barr Trail. It was SO MUCH FUN, but very challenging because I still had so much congestion. The hike couldn't have been any better...It was one of my most favorite times with Kaz. Nothing excites him more than to hike with me! Seriously, he's so happy! Not only did we have a really fun time BUT it was also SO GORGEOUS! I loved seeing hundreds of Cypress trees covered in snow...AND it even lightly snowed while we hiked. It honestly couldn't have been a better day! 

I told Kaz I would hike, bike, run, or whatever he wanted to do ANYTIME if he bought me new clothes:) HaHa. I LOVED seeing him SO HAPPY! Our Easter Sunday together was perfect!

garden of the gods....

Kaz got off early on Friday, so we had a good amount of time to explore! We had lunch and walked around in Manitou Springs. Manitou Springs is a really cool little town full of shops and restaurants. Before I actually arrived to Colorado Springs, Kaz kept telling me all about Manitou Springs and how I would love it. He was right! 

After lunch, we went to Garden of the Gods. Honestly, besides the Grand Canyon, Garden of the Gods is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. I could spend days there. Kaz and I have plans to go back either this afternoon or tomorrow[if the rain holds out:)]. Garden of the Gods was my favorite part of the whole weekend!

This was my favorite spot. I loved looking out over all those gorgeous Cypress trees to see the snow covered mountains. 

This was also a favorite spot! Isn't it gorgeous?

a BIG change in plans...

A LOT has happened in the last week...I've felt like I've been in a tornado and couldn't get out! Things have been absolutely CRAZY! Besides being EXTREMELY busy with work, getting the worst cold I've ever had, and having a million things to do...added to the list was Colorado Springs for a week! Let me explain...

You may remember this post last Tuesday when Kaz came home from traveling...We "thought" it would be the end of his travels for awhile. On Wednesday, he called me and said he was coming home to "talk" to me mid morning during the work day. I knew then something was up! He basically told me that he had to come out to Colorado Springs to work for 4-6 weeks and he had to leave on Sunday! I cried more on Wednesday than I have in a really LONG time...I had very mixed feelings. 

I felt very upset and heart broken because we had been praying so hard for the adoption to happen by Easter. We felt the Lord was calling us to pray this prayer and I really believed it would happen. After I found out he would be gone for so long, I struggled with what to pray...I knew that if the adoption still happened I would be SO EXCITED...I knew it STILL COULD HAPPEN...I knew I could handle doing it by myself with family and friends...BUT I simply didn't want it to happen WITHOUT Kaz there. We've been through this whole journey together and as happy as I would be to get the phone call that we had a baby, I would never want Kaz NOT to be apart of it. So I felt very upset..heartbroken...and I had no idea what or how to pray anymore. BECAUSE FOR SO LONG, I really believed and prayed we would have a baby in our arms by Easter if the Lord chose to answer that prayer...I was also very excited. I knew the opportunity would be really good for Kaz. His company graciously offered to fly me out to be with him for a little while...and it was a place that we have never seen AND TALKED about visiting often. Last Wednesday, was a rough day. I had an internal conflict of emotions BUT on Thursday morning when I woke up, I had such a peace about the whole situation. I felt that things were as they should be and even though I couldn't see what's ahead, I was okay with this new development. 

Looking back, I'm so thankful that Kaz and I prayed our bold prayer. I can't explain how much I have grown in my walk with the Lord this last month...more than that, how much deeper my prayer life has become. NOT just for our baby, BUT in ALL things. It's been amazing. SO, we WILL continue praying EVERYDAY for our baby. I'm not sad at all right now. I'm THANKFUL for where the Lord has us. He has blessed us more than I could ever say...

SO THAT leaves me with where I'm at right now....WELL, I'm in Colorado Springs! I flew in yesterday. I HONESTLY didn't know if I would make it. On Wednesday, my cold got a lot worse. I slept a total of 2 hours Wednesday night...My head felt like it was going to explode. I kept praying that the Lord would take it all away and help the 6 hour flight be bearable. Before I left Florence, my dad gave me 2 of his handkerchiefs. I have never used a handkerchief BUT let me just say..THEY SAVED MY LIFE yesterday! They were so much softer on my nose than toilet paper[I can't use tissues-long story]. Even though, I felt extremely gross and kind of like an old person using them, they saved the day! 

I made it to Colorado Springs around 330pm. 

[I look VERY rough in these pictures...but I was so happy to see my sweet Kaz.]

Kaz and I went to Panera Bread so I could get some soup and then I laid in the bed the rest of the afternoon. I hated doing that, because I wanted to explore SO BAD but I really needed to rest! I'm SO GLAD I did. I feel SO MUCH BETTER today! Still sick, but a TON BETTER! It's absolutely beautiful out here! Kaz has the whole weekend off so we have some BIG PLANS! We are going to Denver, Colorado tomorrow...pikes peak...Garden of the Gods....AND A LOT MORE! I will take lots of pictures:)

[my view] photo credit

Even though this Easter weekend didn't turn out as planned, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for this time with my wonderful husband. I'm thankful for the Lord's faithfulness and peace...

Thanks so much for all of your prayers...I know the Lord has BIG plans in store for us! 

Psalm 89:1

I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

cough, cough, cough...

This is what I have been doing the last couple of days: cough cough, sniff, sniff, sleep, cough, cough, sleep, cough, sniff.....Someone gave me a cold AND I have NOT BEEN THIS SICK since I was a LITTLE GIRL! Whoever gave it to me, I want them to stay FAR FAR AWAY! It's been awful! I had a fever from Saturday night-Monday, then it came back until yesterday. Each night, I've woken up with soaking wet clothes from sweating...I didn't sleep but about 3 hours Monday night because of the coughing so last night my dad made me an old home remedy to help with the coughing: sugar and vinegar. It did the trick! I did cough during the night but not nearly as much! I sound like I have a frog in my throat when I talk....It's been bad! I'm SO READY to get back to normal:)

sugar & vinegar[please excuse this awful picture..my camera was dying so I was trying hard to take a picture before it died]

a family day...

Before I left for DC, my parents came down for a few days! We went to the Flowertown Festival in Summerville and Boone Hall! I was so excited to take them to Boone Hall since it’s my favorite. Below are a few pictures from our day!