Wednesday, May 11, 2011

a very hard day...

Kaz and I had a very fun weekend together...While it was fun, it was still very hard because of mother's day. Not just for me, but for Kaz also because it was his first mother's day without his mom. We both knew the weekend would be hard, yet we didn't really talk about it all week. When Friday got here, it was like all these emotions hit at once. I went from being really happy to really sad. I never thought I wouldn't be celebrating this mother's day. AND at the same time, I felt bad that I was hurting while Kaz was also in a different way. 
So many of you wrote me emails of encouragement over the weekend, and I am so thankful for all of them. On Friday, I received a card from a friend that said this:
I have no words that will make a little perfect baby come soon. I pray for you and Kaz as you wait. I know for sure that you will be a mother. The wait is not easy, I know. As I come to celebrate this mother's day, I look back at all the other ones that were so hard and I barely remember the pain. You too will look back at all these days and they will be filled with love and life of a little prikazsky. You and Kaz are very special to us and we love you both. Praying for you especially on mother's day. 

While this mother's day was hard, it was also very different than any other. One, so many people reached out to me and I tried to do the same with women I know struggling through infertility and adoption. Second, I was reminded over and over that even though we don't yet have a baby, I have a mother's heart. Anyone going through infertility/adoption feels and goes through things that no one else can understand unless you have been through them. We are kind of in those "pregnancy" stages in our adoption, the baby is just not growing inside of me. I fully believe that. We are waiting for the arrival and we pray more than we have prayed about anything in our lives for this baby/birth mom. So while it was extremely hard, I was/am hopeful. My sweet husband even gave me a mother's day gift. It blew me away that he would think of this, and it was the perfect gift! A new pair of NIKE RUNNING SHORTS! Ha-Ha!

The lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all

 he does." Psalm 145:17


mom said...

I know Sunday was hard for you both. It was very hard for me also. When we were at church I thought about my mom and how I miss her so much and then I thought about you and how I was praying that you would be a mom by then. I know you will be a great mom and it will happen soon. God is always right on time. That baby is going to be so bless to have parents like you and Kaz. I love you, mom

Anne @ Hello Newmans said...

sweet kaz...he is so thoughtful! You guys will be incredible parents for a precious child. Praying it will be so very soon!

Ashley said...

Still praying for your match! The wait will be so worth it!