Our Journey..Together....: June 2011

Annie Rice is such a blessing and joy to be around! Her transition has blown me away! It's very evident that the Lord has had his hand all over us. From the minute we took her out of the car Saturday, she hasn't stopped smiling! She is such a happy baby. She wakes up smiling and clapping. She lights up when dada comes home from work. She constantly calls momma and looks all over for me if I'm not in the room. She responds to her "new" name, Annie Rice. She wants to be loved and held. Just in the few days we've had her, she's learned to "kiss kiss", wave bye bye, and fake cough:) She's so sweet. She is sleeping 8-10 hours a night. She loves bath time and splashes water everywhere! She constantly has her hands in her mouth because of teething and always carries around a teething ring. In a high chair, she puts her feet over the top. Yesterday, my mom and I had a lot of errands to run which lasted about 6 hours. She never once cried...She was just as happy as she could be. I can't get enough of her!

our first family picture before leaving Bethany's office...

We took her blanket away...

Meeting everyone for the first time...

First feeding at home...

First bath...

before going to church...

our adoption journey has been no easy road, even up until these last 2 weeks...BUT our precious daughter was worth every hard day we’ve battled.

I’ve mentioned several times about the other birth mom we were paired with for awhile...the bumpy and hard road we had with her...We found out June 12th that she had her baby. While we knew the week before that she was going to keep it, it was still a very hard day for us because up until that point there wasn’t a physical child that we could see or imagine...We didn’t talk about it a whole lot but we were both very down that day..

The next morning, I got up as usual and went for my daily walk which as I’ve mentioned several times has turned into a prayer walk. As I was praying for our adoption, I prayed, “Lord, please even let us get a phone call today...” Sometime after lunch, Kaz called me and said, “Miss, our worker called and there’s a baby. She’s 11 months old...We were expecting a newborn, but that doesn’t matter to me..There’s a lot to it so I want you to call our worker and hear for yourself. We have to make a decision by tomorrow. She’s delayed a couple of months but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m so excited Miss[that’s his name for me:)”.

I called our worker and heard all the details for myself. The initial conversations sounded a lot worse than reality..We talked with some of our close friends and family about our decision. Annie Rice was already a part of BabyNet which helped with her motor skills and was seeing an early interventionist/physical therapist once a week. All of this was pretty overwhelming to us, but we knew that if this was the baby the Lord had for us we were willing to do WHATEVER we needed to take care of her. AND SO MANY DETAILS were lining up that were little blessings from the Lord regarding this baby...[more on this later]

We went to bed that night with a peace about our decision and kept praying that if this was not the Lord’s will, something would change on the birthparents side. I called our worker the next morning to tell her that our decision was yes and she said the process was underway. She said she would give us a call after lunch to talk over more of the details...

I was SO EXCITED, I couldn’t stand it. While waiting on her call, I did a little shopping for Annie Rice and Kaz and I had lunch. After lunch, I had a few errands to run including going to Target. We knew Annie Rice would be turning 1 on July 6th, so while at Target I picked up a little birthday onesie. I was walking down the picture frame isle when our worker called..I never expected to hear what she had to say...

She said that the birthmom was really undecided about us..That a family her mom knew had come into the picture and they wanted to adopt Annie Rice...She was going to need some time to figure out what she wanted to do. My heart couldn’t have dropped anymore than it did when I heard the news. My spirit was crushed and instead of being sad I became just plain mad. On top of that, I had to break the news to Kaz....Waiting to hear her decision was not easy...I really tired to trust that this was the baby because in my heart I felt like it was...Late the next day, we got the call that the birthmom wanted to meet us on that Sunday...4 days away!

Those days didn’t fly by...Thankfully, I had a really big wedding the day before to keep my mind off of things. As we made our way to the meeting, our nerves started to take over. We had been through this before with the other birthmom, and these meetings can be very awkward at first...We had no idea what to expect.

I do want to keep a lot of things private that went on in the meeting and with the birthparents just for our family, but I will say that the meeting went GREAT! Better than we could have ever expected. We met for over 2 hours. Inside, I couldn’t help but be ecstatic. The ending floored us, and something we had not expected...The birthmom looked us in the eyes and said, “Ya’ll seem like really nice people, but I’m just not sure. I really need more time...Maybe another visit.” I wanted to hide under the table we were sitting at.

We left the meeting on that note. Our worker told us she hoped to hear something the next day. As we left the meeting, we drove in silence holding hands for a good hour. I can’t explain how I felt, what I felt....What happened was not right...That wasn’t how it was supposed to go. After driving for awhile, we prayed together and silently. Overtime, I started feeling the Lord’s peace once again...He was saying, “Just be patient...I have this under control...This is the child for you BUT IN MY TIMING...”

We anxiously awaited a phone call the next day...but when we got it, there had been no change...Our worker said, maybe the next day...

Each day that passed from the day we got the initial phone call, my sleeping habits drastically changed. I could no longer sleep and I woke up earlier and earlier every day. That day, I woke up at 530am. I went for my walk and as I walked out the door I grabbed some papers that I had with verses on them..I knew this prayer walk would be hard so I needed physical truth to help me. The first verse that I read was :

2 Thessalonians 1: 3-4

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love everyone of you has for each other is increasing. There, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you endure.

Wow, what a conviction..After my walk, my spirits were very high. I REALLY BELIEVED WITH ALL MY HEART that we were going to get news that day. It was just a matter of actually getting the phone call....Our worker called with good news..She said that the mom had 100% decided on us and that placement for Annie Rice would be 3 days away on Saturday! My heart was over joyed. I had so much to do to prepare...Kaz and I were prepared for a newborn, NOT a 1 year old BUT I no longer cared. I didn’t want a newborn anymore, just this precious little girl. My mom came down to help me prepare, buy clothes, etc. We had a lot of fun getting ready! I have been waiting many days to shop for baby clothes so when I got the chance to buy those first outfits, I took advantage of it! We found out Annie Rice had a full head of dirty blonde curly hair so I bought every bow I could possibly find! Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. Throughout those 2 weeks, the Lord really gave me and Kaz such a peace about this little girl. Even though we had never met her, when we said yes for the first time, she was apart of our family...I even told Kaz at lunch the day we had decided yes, that I felt a lot like families who adopt internationally and get a referral. Once families get a referral, that is there child. They love them and know it’s just a matter of time before they are united. I felt the same way, and we hadn’t even seen a picture...She was our daughter and I knew that from the beginning...BUT getting her wasn’t an easy road.

The days flew by and before long, it was Saturday...We both tried to go about the day as normal as we could, otherwise our nerves would not hold out until 430pm which is when we actually got to pick her up. We knew the placement would be very hard, because the birthmom had asked to physically hand off Annie Rice to us.

We had been waiting in the office maybe 10 minutes, and the birthmom said would you like to meet your daughter. When she came around the corner, I could have busted out crying right there. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She was grinning from ear to ear and immediately stuck her fingers in my mouth:) well, and then stuck her fingers up her nose and in my mouth! She was beautiful...The time had come for the birthmom and dad to leave...I knew it would be hard but never as hard as it was. I think I cried more than them...Even though it was their decision to place Annie Rice up for adoption, part of me still felt guilty for seeing them hurt the way they were...

After we signed all of our papers, we made the 3 hour trip back home where my parents and Liz and Todd were waiting! Annie Rice did so good on the trip! She really is such a happy baby!