Well, I made it back from NYC! The trip was so much fun! I promise to post some pictures as soon as I upload them from my camera!
The last week or two have been really hard. I don’t really know why other than the fact that I’m just ready to have a child. I’m ready for the next stage and I have no idea when that will happen. I’ve honestly felt really bad lately about where my thoughts are because that’s ALL I’ve been thinking about. Even in NYC, I couldn’t get past it. I had fun but the minute I started thinking about getting back to normal life I just got sad.
2 weeks ago, our closest friends who we met through Bethany got placed with a sweet little boy. That alone should give me encouragement and hope, but it hasn’t. I’ve continually thought about myself and how it’s still not happening for us. I don’t really like talking about it anymore with friends because I don’t want them to think that’s all I have to talk about it, but it’s our life right now. We’re in the waiting stage…..
I know the truth, but applying it is a different thing. I’ve heard so many encouraging stories but that’s just it-They are stories.-Not mine….
I keep thinking that the adoption will happen soon but I’m not guaranteed that. Every time Kaz calls me, I automatically think he’s gotten a phone call from Bethany. I honestly don’t know how to deal with myself right now….I wish I could be focused on something other than me. I’m tired of being sad because again it’s about me. I’m trying so hard to fight this but I fail miserably every day.
Have you ever felt this way before? What are ways that you actively apply the truth to your daily lives?